[personal profile] 7rin
@ http://www.policymic.com/articles/52449/adopting-a-black-baby-is-cheaper-than-adopting-a-white-baby

By Evangeline Furton

When Minneapolis native Caryn Lantz and her husband, both white, decided to adopt, they were open to adopting any child, regardless of ethnic background. According to NPR, the two were shocked to discover that some babies could be adopted more economically than others. They were faced with an uncomfortable truth of American adoption today: it is far cheaper to adopt a black child than a child of any other race.

For a black child, the process of adoption is quicker as well. A social worker at an adoption agency the Lantzes visited explained to them that this was because they had many black children waiting for families. Adopting a Caucasian, Asian, Latino, or Biracial child would take longer because there were more people willing to adopt them. Lantz says “I remember hearing this and just sort of being dumbfounded that they would sort of segregate — to use a loaded term — segregate these children by ethnic background before they were even in this world.”

Another adoptive parent, Dawn Friedman of the blog "Love Isn't Enough," found that the three adoption agencies she looked at charged full price for children of all races besides black, and around half price for black children. When Friedman explained that she would take whatever baby came her way, she was advised by one agency that “You may as well get the fee break. If you are open to adopting a black baby, you will get a black baby.”

There are reasons why this has happened. A study published by the Centre for Economic Policy Research found that the probability that a non-African American child will have interested potential adoptive parents is at least seven times as high as the probability for an African American child. This preference against black babies turns into differing adoption costs. The rationale is that people are more willing to get over racial preferences if they can adopt for less. Some adoption professionals also say that generally there are fewer non-African American infants available, and more demand for them.

"Obviously, any time … somebody brings up the word discrimination, everybody's going to … draw attention to the issue, whether or not there's an issue there," said Sean Lance, the director of American Adoptions, an agency whose price ranging results in parents paying more to adopt non-African American babies, “It's not set up as discriminatory.”

He says that minority mothers often qualify for financial support like Medicaid, which pays for their expenses while carrying babies and sometimes even the cost of delivery. White mothers often don’t, so those expenses are added to the cost of adopting the baby.

For the Lantz couple the cost to adopt a Caucasian child was approximately $35,000. For a full African American girl, it was about $18,000. Lantz says, "When they told me the fees for the white child, I was in a Babies R Us and I remember having to sit down in the aisle and say to myself, 'I don't think we can afford to adopt this child.'"

Some states and agencies are using a different system: instead of making some babies cheaper or more expensive to adopt, they base prices on the incomes of prospective families so that lower-income families pay less to adopt. Other agencies are trying to move towards a system where all adoptive parents pay an identical fee for all adoptions.

There is much to recommend such a system, although not everyone agrees on its practicality. The Economist opined that “No doubt, the idea of placing a lower value on children based on race or sex is repugnant. But if it results in finding a loving home for children, and sparing them years in foster care, it may be the lesser of two evils.”

A question facing adoptive parents of African American children is what they will tell their children when they are older. Doubtless, it will be painful for these children to hear that the adoption agencies their parents located them through gave them up at a discount.

Caryn Lantz worries: "I am a little nervous about what we're gonna do when he (her son) starts to understand why someone approached us at Target and thanked us for saving babies.”

Dawn Friedman writes: “I have a friend who is also an adoptive mother in a transracial adoption and who also used an agency with a racist fee structure. She says, ‘My child will NEVER know that our adoption cost less because of his skin color!’ Her argument? Knowing will cut to the core of his self-esteem.” Friedman herself will tell her daughter the circumstances of her adoption. As she says: “It is her right. It is her story.”
[personal profile] 7rin
Available adoption situations @ Adoption Truth and Transparency Worldwide Network

Professional Adoption Situations @ abcadoptions dot com /prosituations1210.htm actually made me vomit in my mouth.

Babies for sale @ http://adoptioncritic.com/2011/08/18/babies-for-sale/
[personal profile] 7rin
Coercion, be it in adoption or abortion, is wrong. Plain fact.

Just don't look at the rest of the site 'cause they're scarily pro-life.

By David C. Reardon, Ph.D.

Since 1980, mental health providers have begun treating an increasing number of women who are suffering mental and emotional difficulties as a result of induced abortions. The best available evidence indicates that on average there is a ten year period of denial during which women who were traumatized by their abortions will repress their feelings.14,15 Therefore, as reported by former U.S. Surgeon General Koop, existing research is inadequate to measure the magnitude of this problem.

But while the number of women who suffer post-abortion trauma is unknown, the characteristics of women most likely to suffer severe post-abortion problems have been identified. Psychologists who work with women suffering from post-abortion sequelae have identified several common factors which can be used to identify women who are at the highest risk of suffering from these problems. In brief, women at high risk are those who:

Feel pressured into having the abortion, or feel uncertainty or ambivalence about their choice.

Read more... )
[personal profile] 7rin
I am hiding the entire article behind this cut tag because it is THAT repulsive )


I have actually made a comment on the article, though I sincerely doubt that it will make it past moderation. This is the comment I left:

What an utterly SICKENING article.

Adoptees have every right to get to know THEIR OWN families, and to read an adopter dismissing OUR OWN families in such horrible ways is horrific!

We are also not ‘gifts’, but actual real people. You actually are heartless as you entirely negate the problem ADOPTEES suffer with from being adopted by describing us as that.

As an adoptee, I find this article vile and repulsive, and am thoroughly gladdened that my own adopters were nowhere near as callous and clueless as you’re making yourself sound!
[personal profile] 7rin
By Anne D. Slagle, adoptee
Originally found @ http://www.unlockingtheheart.com/A_eight_fallacies.htm

Adoption is one of those subjects that everyone thinks they know something about – and has an opinion on. Unfortunately, many of these opinions are wrong, since most people are not adopted, and have no first-hand experience of the adoption process or the effects it has on the families involved in adoption. There are many fallacies concerning adoption – some of them may surprise you!

One: Adoptive parents make better parents than ordinary people because they wanted a child so badly and went to so much trouble to get one. Read more... )

Two: Happy adoptees, who are completed satisfied with their parents and home will never want to search for their birth kin, only the unhappy and maladjusted will feel a need to search. Read more... )

Three: Adoptees who search are looking for fantasy, the "perfect parents" who will love and cherish them, and they will inevitably be cruelly disappointed when they meet with reality. Read more... )

Four: A searching adoptee poses a real threat to the security and anonymity of the birthparent(s). Read more... )

Five: An adoptee belongs to his or her new family forever – and owes them something more than the ordinary offspring owes his family. Read more... )

Six: Sealed records protect the birthmother from intrusion into her life by the child she relinquished for adoption. Sealed records protect no one, least of all the birthparent. Read more... )

Seven: Adoptees are better off not knowing that they are adopted. They will never need to search, and will not grow up feeling "different." Read more... )

Eight: An adoptee is bound to honor the agreement of adoption and to never challenge the wisdom of the sealed records, he has a right only to the information that others are willing to give. Read more... )

Anne D. Slagle, adoptee
THE ALMA SOCIETY
Adoptees Liberty Movement Association
[personal profile] 7rin
I didn't write this, unfortunately.

http://minnesota.publicradio.org/display/web/2013/01/14/trenka

January 14, 2013

By Jane Jeong Trenka

@ MPR News

Jane Jeong Trenka was adopted from Korea to Minnesota in 1972. She is author of the memoirs "The Language of Blood" and "Fugitive Visions," and coeditor of the anthology "Outsiders Within: Writing on Transracial Adoption." She is studying for a master's degree in public policy at Seoul National University and is president of TRACK (Truth and Reconciliation for the Adoption Community of Korea).

Hey, kids in foster care. You might be wondering why Americans are raising a stink about Russia banning adoptions while you are still waiting for a family. You might feel like no one wants you.

And why wouldn't you feel that way?

There are 58,000 of you living in institutions, 104,236 eligible for adoption and 400,540 in foster care. But I can recommend some ways to make yourself as precious and loveable as one of those Russian orphans. Take some tips from an international adoptee! Here's how:

1. Be young. You have no value if you are older than 5. I know — you're 12. But maybe people won't notice if you act young. They'll think you're big for your age. If you expect to be adopted as a preteen, forget it. At that point, all you are is a looming college tuition bill.

2. Be white. That's what the Russians had going for them. But if you can't do that, you can at least not ask to be adopted into a family that speaks Spanish or Laotian or whatever it is you used to speak at home. Language classes are once a week, and culture camp is once a year. Don't confuse tourism with real life. Got it?

3. Be alone. Nobody wants a band of kids that is already a family unit. They are trying to integrate you into them, not be integrated into you. So why are you telling people you have not just one — but two or three siblings? Say goodbye to them and send the youngest ones off to fend for themselves. They probably won't even remember you later. Maybe you can find them in adulthood through Facebook if you're sentimental.

4. Be an orphan. Do you really expect to be adopted you if want to maintain ties with your birth family? People fear your mother showing up at their front door. That is why they like to adopt kids from as far away as possible! "I am a poor orphan. I am a poor orphan." That is your new mantra, and do stop talking about your mother. Not only should you obliterate your memory, but you should also ask your social worker to burn any records that suggest you may have difficulty making adults feel loved and needed in exchange for a home.

Adoption is not about what you want. It's about what adopters want. Get it straight, kids!
[personal profile] 7rin
From TakenUK
Tammy tells her shocking story to the conference of professionals in London
30th October 2006:-


"In the best interest of the child" that's what the professional's state, but even the professionals and the family courts can be wrong as they were in my case.

Let me explain about my birth family, and myself. I am a young adopted adult; I was taken from my mum nearly 17 years ago on a false allegation, I was seven months old and sitting in my bouncing chair, my mum had gone into the kitchen to make me a night feed. I was happily playing with an activity toy, which I dropped on the floor; I leant forward to reach the toy but the chair followed me arid tipped forward falling on top of me. I sustained a bruise on my cheek. And that's where my life was changed forever.

Read more... )
[personal profile] 7rin
From UNC School of Law
8 June 2010

When Children Become Commodities: Fees at Private Adoption Services Often Based on Race of the Adopted Child

Fees paid by prospective adoptive parents for private adoptions are poorly regulated and, in some cases, are based explicitly on the race of the child, says UNC clinical assistant professor of law Barbara Fedders. Her findings are published in a forthcoming article titled "Race and Market Values in Domestic Infant Adoption" to be published in the North Carolina Law Review, volume 88.

Fedders recently completed a survey of private domestic adoption agencies to better understand factors affecting adoption costs. About 20 percent of the agencies Fedders studied openly advertised race-based pricing, but she says that some adoption professionals believe that as many as half of all private agencies engage in the practice.

"There are a significant number of private agencies that facilitate adoption that charge different fees based on the race of children being adopted," she says.

Read more... )
[personal profile] 7rin
by Heather Lowe

One of the things I hear most frequently from parents who have recently lost children to adoption is, "If ONLY I had known." People in a crisis pregnancy are especially prone to denial, and it's very hard to accurately imagine what adoption will be like. I am posting these items in an effort to share the things I wish I had known when I was considering adoption (and was stuck in major denial myself.)
Adoption might well be the best thing for you and your child, but in order to be a truly good thing, it needs to be a well-considered decision, and you need to hear the negative aspects as well as the positive.

This list will likely change and grow as input from other first parents is received. Please visit the guestbook on my website if you are a first parent wanting to add advice to this site.




Read more... )

Note: The terms "unwed" mother, "birthmom", "biological" parent make a parent appear to be less than the mother or father they are. These terms dehumanize and limit the parent's role to that of an incubator. Using the honest terms "mother", "single mother" or "natural mother" help the public to understand why real family members must not be separated to obtain babies for adoption.
[personal profile] 7rin
Quoting kamio over at AAAFC

{quote}
It doesn't matter to me whether I am better off adopted, or if my life with my bmother would have been crap. It does not shift the deep longing and pain inside.

This is what non-adoptees don't understand. You cannot apply logic to emotions. They can tell me over and over that it's best to be in a stable environment, etc.

Does that cancel out the anxiety, depression, fear of abanonment, interpreting everything as rejection, the poor self-esteem, bad impulse control? Hell no! They are embedded deep within my psyche, from childhood.

And because of their assumptions about why adoption is better etc, this leaves no room to understand the emotional issues, or create therapies for it. Because that would mean rethinking adoption.
{/quote}
[personal profile] 7rin
The following is going to be a catalogue of shit said to - or about - adoptees in public(ish - relatively) places. Feel free to use in evidence. :}

Headline: Kate's adoptive family scrimped to give her idyllic childhood... yet she was still desperate to find the parents who gave her up - no matter who it hurt
  • Kate Hilpern discovered she was adopted aged five
  • At 18 she tracked down her birth family - but found her mother had died at 19, two years after giving Kate up for adoption
  • Mother-of-two says being cut off from birth family had damaging effects on her identity and self-esteem
  • Kate now campaigns for adoptive children to retain contact with biological family
By Kate Hilpern
PUBLISHED: 23:48, 15 May 2012 | UPDATED: 11:57, 16 May 2012

{quote}
Read more... )
{/quote}

And now for those oh-so wonderful and supportive comments...

First, a charming snippet from Whenever Wherever, Somewhere in the Lone Star, 16/5/2012 21:39
this yearning for some stranger who gave you up because of a biological link is a slap in the face ... I have a few friends who are asian who do not share these issues. None of them have tried to find the biological parent. If I adopt, it will be an asian child. Can't be bothered with the rest of this nonsense. Call it silly or whatever, but either you are my child and I your mum, or not. I am not going to love and sacrifice for over 18 years for some child to come inform me as an adult that they want a relationship with the biological stranger parent.
This made me scratch my head... resident, somewhere in America, 16/5/2012 20:41
Further, you rarely find what you'll think you'll find. My sister in law found her "birth family" and they were a mess. I was not happy.
I'm left scratching my head at this one because the author doesn't tell us how the person whose life it actually involves felt about it - only that they, the poster was aggrieved by it.

Tiffany, USA, 16/5/2012 18:13 shares with us exactly who adoptees should call 'real' family (for the record, all of my families're 'real' - if they weren't, I wouldn't exist because my a'rents didn't give birth to me):
Why on earth would someone want to raise a child as their own, make the sacrifices good parents make and give their whole heart to a child who will someday bring an egg and sperm donor back into the picture, and for what reason?? My heart goes out to this woman's REAL parents, and shame on her for not having the sense to call them.that first.
Matilda, London, 16/5/2012 16:46 makes one of my favourite comments of all, proving the the blank slate theory
" The idea that you can uproot a baby from its birth family, place it with adoptive parents and give it a new identity with no ill-effects is ludicrous." ....................... I disagree with this statement. You can if the baby isn't too old and you never tell the child that it was adopted.
Dinah, Bath, 16/5/2012 16:21 shares the long-standing, old favourite:
Ungrateful.
I feel very saddened for anon, worcestershire, 16/5/2012 15:35 who feels that their a'rents happiness comes before their own, since no child should be responsible for their parents' happiness, and no child should owe ANY of their parents for doing their job as parents...
What a selfish girl to think of herself and what she wanted, I am adopted from about the same age and would never have wanted to upset my Mother and Father with such an action,they and they only deserved to organise and be at my wedding,they put so much into raising me and giving me a great upbringing,they were always there for me and never let me down their whole lives.I owe them everything.
Finally ('cause contrary to popular belief, I do have a life afk :p), Twinkle, Twinkle, 16/5/2012 15:34 reminds adoptees of their place - y'know, second best, abandoned, 'n' unwanted...
Red arrow me all you like on this but I am entitled to my opionion. I would not adopt a child if the rules changes allowing them access to their biological Mother. NO WAY. Why would a couple or single person who cant have a child provide all the love and care to be made to feel second best and a carer so to speak because the child had been given up for adoption. ADOPTION - Given away - no matter what the reasons or how you wrap it up.
[personal profile] 7rin
I have given a baby up for adoption, and I have had an abortion, and while anecdotes are not evidence, I can assert that abortions may or may not cause depression - it certainly did not in me, apart from briefly mourning the path not taken - but adoption? That is an entirely different matter. I don't doubt that there are women who were fine after adoption, and there is emphatically nothing wrong with that or with them; but I want to point out that if we're going to have a seemingly neverending discussion about the sorrow and remorse caused by abortion, then it is about goddamn time that we hear from birth mothers too.

Believe me when I say that of the two choices, it was adoption that nearly destroyed me - and it never ends. The only comparison I have is the death of a loved one. The pain retreats, maybe fades, but it comes right back if I poke at it. Writing this has taken me nearly two weeks. Normally, I can write this amount in about thirty minutes, with bathroom breaks. I started to type, and stopped only to reread, then go wail into my pillow. There is no such thing as "over" with this.
This was originally discovered at the above link. This link has, unfortunately disappeared, however, I have found a rawer, more original version of this page, which I am thus requoting here in full just in case such valuable information should ever disappear again.

URL found at: http://www.shakesville.com/2009/03/breaking-silence-on-living-pro-lifers.html

It is preferable that you visit the original site as there is also a comments section that could be useful to peruse.

Read more... )
[personal profile] 7rin
http://antiadoption.wordpress.com/2008/02/07/you-must-have-had-a-bad-life/

As an adoptee rights activist, one who doesn’t believe that adoptees are treated equally and who advocates and works towards restoring our equality as adopted adults I am often told by people who don’t know me, or my life story that they “assume I’ve had a really bad life.”

I MUST have had a bad life or else I wouldn’t be criticizing adoption to the degree that I do.

Ignorance I tell ya, its a witch!

Every single time someone who thinks adoption is “great” hears that me, an adoptee, is against adoption to the degree that I am, 9 times out of 10 the sentence following that is “oh, you must have had a really bad life.”

Dismiss.

Because what else is the option for them? To question their own beliefs on adoption being overall “good” and potentially have a falling out of everything they’ve put their hope into? Adoption is NOT a band-aid for infertility, childless couples, building families, saving children, abortion alternatives, etc. Adoption needs to ALWAYS be about the child, and the child’s well being overall.

So for all of those people who “think” I’ve had a bad life, because I’m against adoption… this is for you.
[personal profile] 7rin
http://angela-krueger.suite101.com/attachment-and-bonding-in-adoption-a59892

Helping Adopted Kids Feel Secure in Their Adoptive Families
Jul 9, 2008 Angela Krueger

Understanding the concepts of attachment and bonding, as well as the attachment cycle will help parents create positive and enduring connections with their adopted kids.

Bonding and attachment are two terms used to describe the process of an adopted child feeling secure in her new family. Often used interchangeably, the concepts are actually differentiated by adoption experts.

Attachment versus Bonding
As described in Raising Adopted Children, bonding is a “process that begins with the biological parent during pregnancy and continues through birth and the first few days of life.” This definition shows why an adopted child can feel a bond to her birth mother, but possibly not feel any attachment to her. Bond can also describe the close relationship kids have with teachers and friends with which they have shared important experiences and emotions.

Read more... )
[personal profile] 7rin
http://angela-krueger.suite101.com/effects-of-adoption-on-young-adoptees-a176032

How Adopted Kids and Teens Feel About Their Adoptions

Dec 2, 2009 Angela Krueger

ADOPTED KIDS AND TEENS ARE AFFECTED BY ADOPTION - SHYSIE FROM MORGUEFILE.COM

By understanding the effect adoption has on children and teens, adoptive parents can help their adoptee address adoption feelings through parental support and books.

As adoption has recently become more child-centred, adoptive parents are concerned about how adoption will affect kids in both the short and long terms. Although each adoption situation is different, there are some common issues that arise and adoptive parents need to know which resources are helpful for their adoptee.

Common Feelings Adopted Kids Have About Adoption
Adults who have not had any experience with adoption tend to think that an adoptive family is admirable for “rescuing” a child and the only complication may be that adoptees have some confusion over who their “real” parents are. However, the reality is that adopted kids and teens often have very complex feelings about their adoption and need help processing their thoughts and emotions. Read more... )
[personal profile] 7rin
http://www.examiner.com/article/my-adopted-child-is-a-serial-killer

FAMILY & PARENTING August 1, 2010
Christine Dellinger

6 consecutive life sentences or 365 years in Attica State Prison was the final sentencing handed down by the judge on June 12, 1978.

It was the final sentencing for David Berkowitz, American serial killer and arsonist.

Berkowitz was convicted of the heinous “Son of Sam,” murders involving the gruesome deaths of 6 (six) people and injury to many others during a killing spree with his .44 caliber beginning July 29, 1976.

“My adopted child is a serial killer,” are the thoughts that could have plagued the mind of David Berkowitz’s father, Nathan, as he sat in the courtroom that humid New York morning.

Read more... )
[personal profile] 7rin
"Borrowed" from http://fightagainstcps.tripod.com/id37.html and speel-chucked to clean it up a bit before re-posting.

Adopted Child Syndrome (ACS) - It's history & relevance today

According to public opinion polls, most Americans agree that adoption is at least a "risk factor" to a child's developmental, behavioral and academic development. The belief that adoption has a psychology of its own is evidenced by clinical studies amassed both prior to and since the late 1940s when the states began making adoptees' origins secret.

Read more... )
[personal profile] 7rin
EITHER PARENT OR ABORT!

DO NOT ABANDON YOUR CHILD TO ADOPTION!

Also DO NOT contact anyone on here who's saying "mail mail me, I'll snatch your baby away from you"


Adoption or Parenting Not Always the Best Choice
@ http://thenotsodailyherald.wordpress.com/2010/07/27/adoption-or-parenting-not-always-the-best-option/

Abortion is a simple medical procedure which ends a pregnancy
@ http://www.positive.org/JustSayYes/abortion.html

http://www.prochoice.org/

It is entirely possible to have an abortion and not feel guilt because you knew it was the right thing to do: http://www.imnotsorry.net/

http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2009/03/breaking-silence-on-living-pro-lifers.html

Abortion: There is a Consensus: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsSQiazUvgo


Things I Wish I Knew When I Was Considering Adoption
@ http://www.exiledmothers.com/ adoption_facts/wish.html (close gap in URL)

What you should KNOW if you're considering adoption for your baby
@ http://www.cubirthparents.org/edd/index.php?id=1

Considering adoption? Don't feel you have any other options?
@ http://www.keepyourbaby.com/

Myths told the unmarried mother
@ http://gift-not-choice.tripod.com/myths-about-asfa.html

Adoption Truth
@ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOZGwqHVnKs

Unplanned Pregnancy without Crisis
@ http://www.motherhelp.info/index.htm


Open adoption is almost never legally enforceable, and many parents have lost access to their children due to broken "open" adoption promises.
@ http://www.mercianeclectics.dsl.pipex.com/adoption/OpenAdoptionWall.htm
@ http://www.bringperihome.com/
@ http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100709095305AAjeM4z
@ http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100830162150AAi478W


Quotes taken from Nancy Verrier's book, Coming Home to Self
@ www.nancyverrier.com/self_book.php

For the adoptee every day is a challenge of trying to figure out how to be, although he probably doesn't understand the difficulty this presents for him. It has been true his whole life and, therefore, feels normal. However, it takes a great deal of energy and concentration. And it never feels quite right. He never quite fits. Therefore he feels as if /he/ is never quite right.
(pg 50)

Abandonment and neglect are reported to be the two most devastating experiences that children endure - even more devastating then sexual or physical abuse. That's why some neglected children do naughty things to get attention. Even though the attention is hurtful - being yelled at, hit, or otherwise harmed - it is better than neglect. /Anything/ is better than abandonment. Abandonment is a child's greatest fear. For adoptees, it is also reality, embedded in their implicit and unintegrated memory.
(pg 102)

It is sometimes difficult to spot grief in children. After all, it isn't as if the child sits in a puddle of tears his entire childhood. As one adoptee said, "Of course I played, laughed, sang. Do people think that if you're not sitting in a corner with your head on your knees, you are not sad? I had happy times, but the sadness was always there, even when I was having fun."
(pg 117)


_____Links supporting families to stay together_____

Single Mom @ http://www.singlemom.com/
Mentor Moms/MOPS/Teen MOPS (support!) @ http://www.mops.org/
Angel Food (food assistance) @ http://www.angelfoodministries.com/
Feeding America (food assistance) @ http://www.feedingamerica.org/
Co-Abode (housing assistance) @ http://www.coabode.com/
Safe Families (for emergency/crisis care) @ http://www.safe-families.org/
Teens @ http://www.teenbreaks.com/pregnancy/pregnancyhome.cfm
Adoption Crossroads® and Adoption Healing @ http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org
Adopted Child Syndrome @ http://www.amfor.net/acs
Origins-USA @ http://www.origins-usa.org
United Family Services @ http://www.unitedfamilyservices.org/
Family Assistance Foundation @ http://www.familyassistancefoundation.com/
Safelink Wireless @ http://www.safelinkwireless.com/

Finally, I suggest you take notice of the fact that adoption does NOT "save" kids:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080229225608AA9mqS9
http://lubbockonline.com/crime-and-courts/2010-12-22/lubbock-man-arrested-sexually-assaulting-adoptive-daughters

Nor that APs will necessarily care for you like they pretend:
@ http://adoptiveparentsspeak.wordpress.com/
@ http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100106130510AA4Ekce

Good luck!
[personal profile] 7rin
BY ROBIN HILBORN, Family Helper editor
Peter Selman (Mar. 15, 2011)

Year after year, the numbers are falling. International adoptions peaked in 2004 at over 45,000 and fell to about 30,000 in 2009, a decrease of one-third in six years.

The current decline looks set to continue in 2010 and onward, Dr. Peter Selman of Britain's Newcastle University told Family Helper (www.familyhelper.net).

Dr. Selman is an authority on international adoption statistics. His new survey of intercountry adoption in the 21st century will appear as a chapter in Intercountry Adoption: Policies, Practices and Outcomes, edited by Judith Gibbons and Karen Rotabi (Ashgate 2011, forthcoming).

International adoption is complex: in 2009 around 30,000 children left their birth country and moved to a new country often thousands of miles away. China still leads as a source country, sending about 5,000 children to adoptive homes abroad in 2009 (see Table 1 below). U.S. families adopted the most children from other countries: 12,753 in fiscal year 2009 (see Table 2 below).
For decades, until 2004, the numbers had gone steadily upward. In his article "The rise and fall of intercountry adoption in the 21st century" (pdf), (International Social Work, September 2009), Dr. Selman charted how intercountry adoption (ICA) developed over ten years—1998 to 2007—in 22 countries.

He found remarkable changes. Ever since the first children left South Korea in 1953 the numbers rose yearly, to over 45,000 worldwide in 2004. But although the number of applicants in receiving countries kept growing, the global number of adoptions started falling: by 17% between 2004 and 2007.

Dr. Selman sent Family Helper the following tables and graphs, which update these figures to 2009, and chart the rise and fall of ICA in the first decade of the new millennium.

Read the rest over at Family Helper.
[personal profile] 7rin
Issues Facing Adult Adoptees
@ http://www.enotalone.com/article/10075.html

Often when people hear the word "adoption," they think of an infertile, childless couple delightedly gazing into the eyes of their recently adopted newborn baby. They are thrilled to finally be parents, and are totally involved in meeting the immediate needs of the child. But what about the years that follow? Do the effects of adoption stop the moment that a child comes home to the new parents?

Read more... )
[personal profile] 7rin
Each One Help One
@ http://www.values.com/your-inspirational-stories/1306-EACH-ONE-HELP-ONE
My husband and I, grateful for our own circumstances, met a young woman and her baby son 16 years ago. They had a rented room, but not much support in their lives. We were childless. We moved to a bigger house and became a family. The woman was able to get off of public assistance, get some experience and get a job (...and now is a very experienced bookkeeper and office manager). Our young boy, now 16, was able to go to school and get a solid foundation that now supports him in high school. We got the best gift...the joy of a little boy running to us when we got home from work, a Christmas morning with a child, the hope for the future in his eyes. After five years of living together, the woman and the little boy got their own place and continued their growth and development. They have allowed us to remain in their lives. Kind of godparents, kind of grandparents. Four lives changed forever from a chance meeting and a willingness to be open to give. We made a choice - they made a choice - and everyone (including the resources of the government) benefited. Although we gave them a place to live, some financial assistance and some needed support, we GOT way more than we GAVE.


Orphan Foundation of America @ http://orphan.org/
[personal profile] 7rin
You know what'd be much much MUCH kinder? If you moved to Russia and learned his language instead.

International Adoption, Fraud, and "Orphans" @ http://www.momlogic.com/2010/07/international_adoption_fraud_and_orphans.php
<quote>
Western parents who adopt from the developing world often believe they're in the midst of a double blessing: expanding their families by bringing home deeply wanted children and at the same time offering those children - orphans! - a happier, better life than they ever could have led in their own impoverished countries. There's nothing wrong with this belief - these parents' hearts are in the right place - but a recent article suggests that in many cases, the facts of international adoption aren't what they seem.
</quote>

Child trafficking disguised as adoption @ http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=54648#ixzz1NiHwnavt
<quote>
__Children not commodities of international trade__

Of all the ways children are trafficked, however, one of the most undetected remains through international adoption, which has been on the rise for years, from 6,472 in 1992 to 22,728 in 2005 in the U.S. alone.

While parents around the globe are presented with opportunities to rescue orphans from impoverished backgrounds, many adoptions are inadvertently masking and perpetuating the dark world of child trafficking. Prospective parents must beware that just because visas are issued doesn't mean the child is not a victim of the adoptive market. Child trafficking is not just a sexual and labor trade – it's pro-adoption, too!
</quote>

See also:

Re-evaluating Adoption: Validating the Local @ http://dissidentvoice.org/2008/02/re-evaluating-adoption-validating-the-local/

The Baby Trade @ http://www.againstchildtrafficking.org/2010/12/the-baby-trade/

Child Laundering as Exploitation: Applying AntiTrafficking Norms to Intercountry Adoption Under the Coming Hague Regime @ http://works.bepress.com/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1005&context=david_smolin
http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=+site:www.adoptionarticlesdirectory.com+international+adoptees

It's entirely possible to help someone parent without snatching their child away from them: Each One Help One @ http://www.values.com/your-inspirational-stories/1306-EACH-ONE-HELP-ONE

My aparents have had to watch as their kid goes through all of the agony and trauma that comes with being adopted. They have had absolutely no help in dealing with any of this - as all good parents do, they winged it. It's testament to their brilliance that I'm even remotely sane (hush you lot at the back! :p) and a functioning member of society.

Adoption screws kids up. It's not a fact that the adoption mongers like seeing said in public, but it's true. Not every kid, obviously - some on here are happy to've been adopted, but a surprisingly high percentage of us grow up deeply screwed up.

I was abandoned to adoption at seven months old. I honestly and truly wish that I'd been aborted instead of abandoned to adoption, so please be prepared for the fact that any kid you adopt could grow up to be as screwed up as me (I'm almost 40, so legally "grown up" in pretty much everywhere).

Actually, if you adopt, the kid still won't be your own. You need to be able to deal with the fact that being a parent to an adoptee is NOT the same as being a parent to your own child. It will not elicit the same feelings in you, and your gut reactions will be off because there is no genetic similarity to recognise. Yes, you'll learn it all in time, and if you're a good a'rent, you won't even take out your frustration at the kid not being your own child on the child you adopt instead.

I suggest you read the links and blurb mentioned in the Best Answer (as chosen by voters) @ http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20101114222810AAiOtS3 and then read back through a few months worth of resolved questions here in Y!A adoption.

Comprehend that lot, and you'll be about ready to adopt. :)
[personal profile] 7rin
Turski, D. (2002) Why "Birthmother" means "Breeder" [online]. Available at: http://foundandlostsupport.com/birthmothermeansbreeder.html [Accessed 07 December 2010]

<Quote>
I had never heard the term "birthmother" until I reunited with my son. When the social worker who located me referred to me as his "birthmother," my first reaction was to instinctively recoil in distaste. What is a "birthmother?" It occurred to me that perhaps she had merely applied this ridiculous sounding term in an attempt at political correctness, so I ignored it. However, when my son's adoptive mother ...  )



Putting a child up for adoption? @ http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100910110801AALw7r3

As asked by H******:

"Where did this term originate?

"Putting a child up for adoption"

Put up where?
"

... and answered by gypsywinter (amongst others):

"Well people and children have been "put up" for sale and slavery for quite awhile in this country. Slaves were 'put up' on platforms to be viewed Read more... )
[personal profile] 7rin
http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2002/38/notes/data.pdf
These notes refer to the Adoption and Children Act 2002 (c.38) which received Royal Assent on 7th November 2002

Section 112: Acquisition of parental responsibility by step-parent

268.

Section 112 inserts section 4A into the Children Act 1989 to enable a step-parent to acquire parental responsibility for a child of his spouse. This may be acquired either by agreement between the step-parent and the parents who have parental responsibility for the child, or by order of the court. This measure is intended to provide an alternative to adoption where a step-parent wishes to acquire parental responsibility for his or her step-child. It has the advantage of not removing parental responsibility from the other birth parent and does not legally separate the child from membership of the family of the other birth parent.




Fostering in the UK @ http://www.baaf.org.uk/info/lpp/fostering/index.shtml

Special guardianship @ http://www.fassit.co.uk/special_guardianship_orders.htm

The Special Guardianship Regulations 2005 @ http://www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/2005/1109/made

Private fostering in the UK @ http://www.baaf.org.uk/info/lpp/pf/index.shtml

Residence orders @ http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com/Resources/CLC/Documents/PDF%20N-Z/Residence%20leaflet.pdf

What are the effects of a residence order?
A residence order will automatically give parental responsibility to the person or persons who have the residence order in their favour. Residence orders are often used when a child lives with their grandparent as a way for them to obtain parental responsibility for their grandchild.

Parental Responsibility @ http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/ParentsRights/DG_4002954

Supported Lodgings Scheme (UK) @
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091029102030AAxvgoD
[personal profile] 7rin
Some highly publicized cases:
Kirchner v Warburton
Schmidt v DeBoer
He v Baker
Baby Peri (present)
Baby Emma (present)
Baby Vanessa (present)
Vaugh v. Wyrembeck v. Vaughn (present)

The shameful secrecy of the adoption system (UK SWers & SS)

Straight from the horses mouth, as it were...

Can adoptive parents legally cut off communication entirely in a SEMI-OPEN adoption?

My husband and I are thinking of adopting a baby. The birth parents want a semi-open adoption, which we are willing to do. We agreed to send pictures and updates twice per year, and the birth parents are free to send us whatever communication they'd like. They do not know our full names, our state of residence, etc.

My question is, if at some point down the road, we no longer want to keep the adoption semi-open and want to make it a closed adoption, can we do that or can the birth parents then sue us for breach of contract?

Suicidal

Dec. 3rd, 2009 01:48 am
[personal profile] 7rin
Adoptees and suicide?
@ http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100227185819AAHzL48

Former child welfare clients and suicide?
@ http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100227224313AAaMNGc

Adoption as a Risk Factor for Attempted Suicide During Adolescence
@ http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/108/2/e30

Adoption: Double risk of suicide, higher risk of ADHD, depression, etc.
@ http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum/index.php?topic=24237.0

von Borczyskowski, A., Hjern, A., Lindblad, F., & Vinnerljung, B. (2006). Suicidal behaviour in national and international adult adoptees. Social Psychiatry & Psychiatric Epidemiology, 41(2), 95-102. doi:10.1007/s00127-005-0974-2

This shows a higher attempt rate for females, but a much higher success rate for males. (AP@AAAFC)

Statistics on the Effects of Adoption
@ http://www.ansrs.com/statistics.htm
[personal profile] 7rin
"The child shall be registered immediately after birth and shall have the right from birth to a name, the right to acquire a nationality and as far as possible, the right to know and be cared for by his or her parents."
The UN Convention on the Rights of the Child - Article 8 (old link)

Why should children only get limited rights to associate with their parents?
[personal profile] 7rin
Adoption and Loss: The Hidden Grief
Evelyn Burns Robinson @ http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/Adoption&Loss.html (dead link, but review available @ http://www.ccnm-mothers.ca/English/articles/Robinson.htm )

Adoption Healing... the path to recovery for mothers who lost children to adoption
Joe Soll @ https://www.adoptionhealing.com/Moms/

Adoptees in Reunion: The Psychological Integration of Adoption, Motivations for Reunion, and the Reunion Relationship
@ http://www.nla.gov.au/openpublish/index.php/aja/article/view/1447/1776 {.pdf format}

Adoption: Uncharted Waters
David Kirschner @ http://www.adoptionunchartedwaters.com/

Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self
David Brodzinsky @ http://library.adoption.com/articles/being-adopted-the-lifelong-search-for-self.html

Coming Home to Self: The Adopted Child Grows Up
Nancy Verrier @ http://nancyverrier.com/coming-home-to-self/

Journey of the Adopted Self: A Quest for Wholeness
Betty Jean Lifton @ http://www.plumsite.com/bjlifton/

Lost and Found: the Adoption Experience
Betty Jean Lifton @ http://www.plumsite.com/bjlifton/

The Adopted break Silence
Jean Paton @ http://www.uoregon.edu/~adoption/archive/PatonTABS.htm

The Girls Who Went Away
Ann Fessler @ www.thegirlswhowentaway.com/

The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child
Nancy Verrier @ http://nancyverrier.com/the-primal-wound/

Unlearning Adoption: A Guide to Family Preservation and Protection
Jessica DelBalzo @ http://books.google.co.uk/books/about/Unlearning_Adoption.html?id=AjeXPAAACAAJ

Without a map
Meredith Hall @ http://meredithhall.org/
[personal profile] 7rin


Family Rights Group


Stopping the adoption process
If your child is in the process of being adopted and you don't want this to happen, it is important for you to get legal advice as soon as possible.

You may be able to get publicly funded legal advice and representation in court. A solicitor will be able to advise you.


Contact Ian Josephs @ http://www.forced-adoption.com/

Find a solicitor through the Community Legal Service Directory


Retaining your parental rights
One of two things must happen before a court can take away your rights as a parent, so that your child can be adopted; either you must agree, or the court must decide to go ahead without your agreement.
Each case is different, and the court will only go ahead with the making of an adoption order if they feel it is necessary. This could include, for example, where there are concerns for the safety of the child. The court will send you the evidence they have been given and you should discuss it with your solicitor as soon as you can.

The court will also ask an independent social worker agency (also known as a children's guardian) to visit you. Their job is to:
  • safeguard your child's interests on behalf of the court, so they will want to know why you do not want your child to be adopted
  • report your views to the court, because it is very important for the court to know how you feel about your child's future
You can go to the court yourself if you want to, to explain why you are not willing to agree to your child's adoption. An adoption order cannot be made unless the court is sure that being adopted would be in your child's best interests, and they will have to take account of your views in deciding this.


Fassit was founded in 2005. A non-governmental voluntary organisation independent of Local Authority Social Services Departments. Fassit provides a website containing information and advice for families with children experiencing frustration in working with Social Services in Child protection Proceedings.

Dad.Info
[personal profile] 7rin
How an adoption is recorded
Since 1927, all adoptions granted by the courts in England and Wales, and some overseas adoptions, are recorded in the Adopted Children Register. The register is not open to public search or inspection, but adopted persons and parents can apply to receive adoption certificates.

If a child is born and adopted in England or Wales
Registering an adoption can take up to six weeks, from the time the court issues the adoption order to the General Register Office updating the Adopted Children Register. This replaces the original birth record, which is marked 'adopted'.

You then receive a free short adoption certificate. If you would like more short copies or a full certificate you need to order them. You can do this online or by telephone.

1970s English Adoption Certificate )

DIY Deed Poll

Birth certificates after adoption

DirectGov

If you are aged 18 or over and have been adopted in England, Wales or Northern Ireland you can apply for a copy of your original birth certificate.

If all the birth details are known you should apply to the Superintendent Registrar in the district where your birth was registered. There is a fee for this.

If adopted before 12 November 1975, you will have to see an experienced counsellor before you can get information from the original birth certificate.

If adopted on or after 12 November 1975, you can choose whether or not you would like to see a counsellor before getting information about your birth certificate.

You can also obtain a copy of the adoption certificate issued after the adoption order was granted.

See also:

Abortion

Aug. 19th, 2009 08:07 pm
[personal profile] 7rin
The women who choose not to be mothers: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-10786279

Abortion is a simple medical procedure which ends a pregnancy.
Throughout history, around the world, and in many religions, women have used abortion as a part of our healthcare.

Not all women think abortion is cool for themselves, but all women have the right to make this choice.

...

There are several groups listed under Women's Healthcare in the Resources which can help you find a safe abortion clinic, pregnancy test, or help with money for an abortion.

If you choose a clinic on your own, watch out for bogus clinics like Crisis Pregnancy Centers. These clinics seem like real health clinics, but aren't. They are actually run by anti-abortion groups and will try to scare you out of having an abortion. These bogus clinics are listed in the yellow pages under Abortion Alternatives. Real clinics are listed as Abortion Services.

NEVER have an illegal abortion -- like one done in someone's home or by swallowing poisons! Abortion is safe when done in a legal clinic or hospital.

ABORTION HOTLINE
1-800-772-9100
http://www.prochoice.org

ABORTION CLINICS ONLINE
http://gynpages.com/

PLANNED PARENTHOOD
434 West 33rd St.
New York, NY 10001
1-800-230-PLAN
http://www.plannedparenthood.org

http://www.imnotsorry.net/

Medicaid Coverage of Abortion and Other Reproductive Health Services @ http://www.ourbodiesourselves.org/book/companion.asp?id=20&compID=64
[personal profile] 7rin
UK

Find your original birth or adoption record (DirectGov (UK) site) @ http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Governmentcitizensandrights/Registeringlifeevents/Birthandadoptionrecords/Adoptionrecords/DG_175567

Using the Adoption Contact Register (DirectGov (UK) site) @ http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Governmentcitizensandrights/Registeringlifeevents/Birthandadoptionrecords/Adoptionrecords/DG_175603

Julie's People Search @ http://www.julieg.f9.co.uk/longlinkslist.htm

UK Adoptees - Adopted in the UK #searching @ http://ukadoptees.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=searching

USA

Go join http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum/ 'cause it's THE best place for adoptees to be, and is chock full of adoptees who've searched and know how to search.

If you are in USA @ http://www.aborn.faithweb.com/
Click where it says " Before you begin your search." Next, read "Proper way to search, part 1" and then "Proper way to search, part 2." Located on the right column.

There's also:
Adoption Search Reunion @ http://www.adoptionsearchreunion.org.uk/
International Soundex Reunion Registry (ISRR) @ http://www.isrr.net/faq.shtml
GS Adoption Registry @ http://gsadoptionregistry.com/
Adoption Reunion Registry @ http://registry.adoption.com/

Register and check back with them often.

The State/Country where they child was born and adopted may have it's own registry and access laws, so check that out also.

Also try Facebook, Google, Myspace, Ancestry.com, etc.

General Search Advice @ http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum/index.php?topic=754.0

Canada

Origins Canada Search Registry @ http://searchregistry.originscanada.org/

Pay Sites

The Vitalsearch Company Worldwide @ http://www.vitalsearch-worldwide.com/


War Babies

http://www.liberationchildren.org/

Unchecekd

http://www.birthparentfinder.com/

General Search Advice

http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum/index.php?topic=754.0
[personal profile] 7rin
Help bring Peri home
My name is Carla Moquin. I am raising two daughters, Alpha (7 years) and Echo (4 years). My and my now-ex-husband's middle daughter, Peri, was placed at birth into what was planned to be an extensively open adoption. Unfortunately, that is far from what the situation turned out to be. This is our family's story. (A two-page summary of the basics can be downloaded here.)

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