[personal profile] 7rin
http://www.the-broad-side.com/adoption-a-different-option

by Rebekah Kuschmider on September 12, 2013

For many years, anti-choice activists have suggested that adoption is the kinder option than abortion. They argue that babies deserve life and there are families who will adopt unwanted infants. Recently, conservative pundit S.E. Cupp intimated it that it was a moral obligation of pregnant women otherwise considering abortion to instead carry babies to term so that families seeking children could have the opportunity to be parents. It seems like a winning combination: unwanted baby, family who wants a baby, woman absolved of responsibility for the baby.

Adoption should be an option. Only, I’m not talking about the babies-to-be. I’m talking about the mothers-to-be.

I do not wish to minimize the strength of character it takes for a woman and an adoptive couple to reach terms that allow a baby to be given the best home possible. That’s an admirable course of action. For a woman who is not in circumstances to raise a child, finding an adoptive family for an unborn baby can be a blessing of invaluable magnitude. But why should the mother give up a baby whom, studies suggest, she would undoubtedly love? Why should the mother continue to live in circumstances that preclude raising a child when her circumstances could be changed by the act of adopting…her?

Anti-choice families who wish to see women carry, birth and raise babies should bring those women into their homes. They should treat them as they would treat their own pregnant daughter. Provide them with food, clothing and shelter. Enroll them on their insurance plan and get them the best prenatal care. Find a school for the women to attend if they need education, assist them in finding work if they need work. Give them a car. Give them emotional support. Take them to church and social events. Make them a part of the life that they lead – a forever life, not just the duration of the pregnancy.

After the baby is born, give mother and baby the same shower of love, support and material goods that they would a grandchild. They should offer assistance with childcare so the mother can work or attend school, maybe subsidize an apartment if they want to have their own place. They should read stories to and play tag with the child as he or she grows, and welcome mother and child beneath the Christmas tree and at the Thanksgiving table every year.

Make having a baby possible. Make raising a baby possible.

Too often I read about Crisis Pregnancy Centers that counsel against abortion and offer pregnant women rudimentary help. Cast-off baby goods. Diapers. A sheaf of papers they can use to apply for housing or medical aid. But how much of a difference does that ultimately make? Does it break the cycle of poverty? Elevate women to true self-sufficiency? Does it prevent the next unintended pregnancy? Or is it a band-aid on a larger issue, measures meant to make sure babies are born? But what happens after? What happens to mothers who raise their babies within our limited safety net? What happens to mothers who relinquish their babies to adoption?

Yes, adoption is an option and no one is saying it shouldn’t be. But as a student of the nature of unintended pregnancy, my conclusions after reading about who the women who seek abortion is that it isn’t their babies who need to be whisked off to a better life. It’s them.
[personal profile] 7rin
@ http://www.policymic.com/articles/52449/adopting-a-black-baby-is-cheaper-than-adopting-a-white-baby

By Evangeline Furton

When Minneapolis native Caryn Lantz and her husband, both white, decided to adopt, they were open to adopting any child, regardless of ethnic background. According to NPR, the two were shocked to discover that some babies could be adopted more economically than others. They were faced with an uncomfortable truth of American adoption today: it is far cheaper to adopt a black child than a child of any other race.

For a black child, the process of adoption is quicker as well. A social worker at an adoption agency the Lantzes visited explained to them that this was because they had many black children waiting for families. Adopting a Caucasian, Asian, Latino, or Biracial child would take longer because there were more people willing to adopt them. Lantz says “I remember hearing this and just sort of being dumbfounded that they would sort of segregate — to use a loaded term — segregate these children by ethnic background before they were even in this world.”

Another adoptive parent, Dawn Friedman of the blog "Love Isn't Enough," found that the three adoption agencies she looked at charged full price for children of all races besides black, and around half price for black children. When Friedman explained that she would take whatever baby came her way, she was advised by one agency that “You may as well get the fee break. If you are open to adopting a black baby, you will get a black baby.”

There are reasons why this has happened. A study published by the Centre for Economic Policy Research found that the probability that a non-African American child will have interested potential adoptive parents is at least seven times as high as the probability for an African American child. This preference against black babies turns into differing adoption costs. The rationale is that people are more willing to get over racial preferences if they can adopt for less. Some adoption professionals also say that generally there are fewer non-African American infants available, and more demand for them.

"Obviously, any time … somebody brings up the word discrimination, everybody's going to … draw attention to the issue, whether or not there's an issue there," said Sean Lance, the director of American Adoptions, an agency whose price ranging results in parents paying more to adopt non-African American babies, “It's not set up as discriminatory.”

He says that minority mothers often qualify for financial support like Medicaid, which pays for their expenses while carrying babies and sometimes even the cost of delivery. White mothers often don’t, so those expenses are added to the cost of adopting the baby.

For the Lantz couple the cost to adopt a Caucasian child was approximately $35,000. For a full African American girl, it was about $18,000. Lantz says, "When they told me the fees for the white child, I was in a Babies R Us and I remember having to sit down in the aisle and say to myself, 'I don't think we can afford to adopt this child.'"

Some states and agencies are using a different system: instead of making some babies cheaper or more expensive to adopt, they base prices on the incomes of prospective families so that lower-income families pay less to adopt. Other agencies are trying to move towards a system where all adoptive parents pay an identical fee for all adoptions.

There is much to recommend such a system, although not everyone agrees on its practicality. The Economist opined that “No doubt, the idea of placing a lower value on children based on race or sex is repugnant. But if it results in finding a loving home for children, and sparing them years in foster care, it may be the lesser of two evils.”

A question facing adoptive parents of African American children is what they will tell their children when they are older. Doubtless, it will be painful for these children to hear that the adoption agencies their parents located them through gave them up at a discount.

Caryn Lantz worries: "I am a little nervous about what we're gonna do when he (her son) starts to understand why someone approached us at Target and thanked us for saving babies.”

Dawn Friedman writes: “I have a friend who is also an adoptive mother in a transracial adoption and who also used an agency with a racist fee structure. She says, ‘My child will NEVER know that our adoption cost less because of his skin color!’ Her argument? Knowing will cut to the core of his self-esteem.” Friedman herself will tell her daughter the circumstances of her adoption. As she says: “It is her right. It is her story.”
[personal profile] 7rin
@ http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7889302.stm

A child is removed after its parents are accused of abuse. The child is adopted and settles with a new family. If the parents are then cleared, should the child be returned, ask ethicists Rebecca Roache and Barbro Bjorkman.

Mark and Nicky Webster have lost a bid to overturn adoption orders on three of their children.

The children were removed in 2005, following concerns over injuries incurred to one of the children.

Subsequent investigations revealed that the injuries may have resulted from a medical condition, and that the Websters may not have harmed the child after all.

However, with the children now settled with their adoptive families, senior appeal court judges have ruled that while the Websters may have suffered a miscarriage of justice, it is not in the children's interests to overturn the adoption orders.

Assuming that the Websters are indeed innocent of harming their child, has the court made the right decision?

Read more... )
[personal profile] 7rin
http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2013/apr/07/troubled-families-support-cameron

David Cameron has pledged to help 120,000 families turn their lives around before 2015. Amelia Gentleman gains exclusive access to three families on the list

Sometime after midday, Daniel Smith, 19, gets up from the sofa, where he has been sleeping beneath a grey, coverless duvet, and races upstairs to his mum's room, which is open because in a fit of unexplained fury last week he kicked the door off its hinges. The door is leaning against the wall, waiting for someone to fix it. He rummages through some papers on the windowsill and finds an appointment letter for a meeting with the Work Programme, the government's initiative to get people off benefits and into jobs.

When he sees the time of the appointment (11am) he swears and curses the programme officials because he has missed it. His mother, Estelle, who is lying on her bed in a pink leopard-skin onesie, looks at him kindly but doesn't say anything. Tara, the oldest of his three sisters, who is dressed and sitting on the bed, leaning against her mother's knees, stroking the family's black-and-white cat, says maybe he should call to try to rearrange. Daniel shouts that his benefits are going to be sanctioned and stamps downstairs in a fury, but does not make the call.

No one in the house is aware that the family has been placed on a list of the 2,385 most troubled families in the city where they live, Manchester; and among 120,000 across the country. Their key worker, Julie Cusack, is reluctant to tell them they are part of the government's troubled families programme, anxious not to alienate them unnecessarily. She tells them the council has decided to offer "extra support".

Read more... )
[personal profile] 7rin
Some family court rulings are impossible to understand
By Christopher Booker4:41PM GMT 16 Mar 2013


As our social workers continue to break all records in the number of children they remove from their parents – the latest figures for England and Wales show that the number of care applications is this year likely to rise above 11,000, approaching three times their level in April 2008 – our Education Secretary, Michael Gove, is determined to increase the comparatively small percentage of those children who then go on to be adopted. In support of this policy (Mr Gove was successfully adopted, and his new Children’s Minister, Edward Timpson, was brought up with two adoptive siblings), their department commissioned two academics, Barry Luckock and Dr Karen Broadhurst, to produce a report that purports to show that, bar one or two minor criticisms, the process of removing children for adoption by new parents is working well.

Read more... )

This month, in a last desperate bid to get her daughter back, the mother appealed to another judge to stop the adoption order, relying on the rule that such an application can be granted if the mother can show that her “circumstances have changed”. When she yet again, I gather, produced medical evidence, going back several years, to show that she had never been a drug addict or an alcoholic, the new judge apparently accepted this as convincing. But, astonishingly, the judge went on to rule that, since the mother had never been either of these things, her circumstances could not be said to have “changed”. The adoption must therefore still go ahead.

Almost as chillingly, the mother was then allowed to see a small part of the report the social workers had prepared to be shown to her daughter’s new adoptive parents. This not only contains a string of simple factual errors; it still paints her in the most damning light as having, despite the judge’s finding, “a history of drug and alcohol misuse”, adding: “It is reported that she has attempted suicide on nine occasions.”

This may all help to convince the adoptive parents that they have rescued the new member of their family from a fate worse than death (the report is even anxious to record that the mother is “a smoker” and “wears high heels and make-up”). And no doubt if Mr Gove’s academics had been given an account of this case by the local authority’s solicitor, it might have seemed another success story for the adoption process. But to anyone who has followed just what this mother and child have been put through since they were torn apart in 2010, and who is aware of just how dysfunctional so much of our “child protection” system has become, I’m afraid this story is not just yet another shocking travesty of justice; it is an almost unbearable tragedy.
[personal profile] 7rin
Available adoption situations @ Adoption Truth and Transparency Worldwide Network

Professional Adoption Situations @ abcadoptions dot com /prosituations1210.htm actually made me vomit in my mouth.

Babies for sale @ http://adoptioncritic.com/2011/08/18/babies-for-sale/
[personal profile] 7rin
DSS and affiliates rewarded for breaking up families
By Nev Moore

Massachusetts News

Child "protection" is one of the biggest businesses in the country. We spend $12 billion a year on it.

The money goes to tens of thousands of a) state employees, b) collateral professionals, such as lawyers, court personnel, court investigators, evaluators and guardians, judges, and c) DSS contracted vendors such as counselors, therapists, more "evaluators", junk psychologists, residential facilities, foster parents, adoptive parents, MSPCC, Big Brothers/Big Sisters, YMCA, etc. This newspaper is not big enough to list all of the people in this state who have a job, draw a paycheck, or make their profits off the kids in DSS custody.

In this article I explain the financial infrastructure that provides the motivation for DSS to take people’s children – and not give them back.

Read more... )
[personal profile] 7rin
I didn't write this, unfortunately.

http://minnesota.publicradio.org/display/web/2013/01/14/trenka

January 14, 2013

By Jane Jeong Trenka

@ MPR News

Jane Jeong Trenka was adopted from Korea to Minnesota in 1972. She is author of the memoirs "The Language of Blood" and "Fugitive Visions," and coeditor of the anthology "Outsiders Within: Writing on Transracial Adoption." She is studying for a master's degree in public policy at Seoul National University and is president of TRACK (Truth and Reconciliation for the Adoption Community of Korea).

Hey, kids in foster care. You might be wondering why Americans are raising a stink about Russia banning adoptions while you are still waiting for a family. You might feel like no one wants you.

And why wouldn't you feel that way?

There are 58,000 of you living in institutions, 104,236 eligible for adoption and 400,540 in foster care. But I can recommend some ways to make yourself as precious and loveable as one of those Russian orphans. Take some tips from an international adoptee! Here's how:

1. Be young. You have no value if you are older than 5. I know — you're 12. But maybe people won't notice if you act young. They'll think you're big for your age. If you expect to be adopted as a preteen, forget it. At that point, all you are is a looming college tuition bill.

2. Be white. That's what the Russians had going for them. But if you can't do that, you can at least not ask to be adopted into a family that speaks Spanish or Laotian or whatever it is you used to speak at home. Language classes are once a week, and culture camp is once a year. Don't confuse tourism with real life. Got it?

3. Be alone. Nobody wants a band of kids that is already a family unit. They are trying to integrate you into them, not be integrated into you. So why are you telling people you have not just one — but two or three siblings? Say goodbye to them and send the youngest ones off to fend for themselves. They probably won't even remember you later. Maybe you can find them in adulthood through Facebook if you're sentimental.

4. Be an orphan. Do you really expect to be adopted you if want to maintain ties with your birth family? People fear your mother showing up at their front door. That is why they like to adopt kids from as far away as possible! "I am a poor orphan. I am a poor orphan." That is your new mantra, and do stop talking about your mother. Not only should you obliterate your memory, but you should also ask your social worker to burn any records that suggest you may have difficulty making adults feel loved and needed in exchange for a home.

Adoption is not about what you want. It's about what adopters want. Get it straight, kids!
[personal profile] 7rin
Links to threads that have exploded, and which demonstrate aptly the attitudes displayed towards adoption and adoptees.

The Skeptical Mother's Page posted a picture of a very young bmom with her newborn baby daughter, just before she hands her over to the adopters.
[personal profile] 7rin
From UNC School of Law
8 June 2010

When Children Become Commodities: Fees at Private Adoption Services Often Based on Race of the Adopted Child

Fees paid by prospective adoptive parents for private adoptions are poorly regulated and, in some cases, are based explicitly on the race of the child, says UNC clinical assistant professor of law Barbara Fedders. Her findings are published in a forthcoming article titled "Race and Market Values in Domestic Infant Adoption" to be published in the North Carolina Law Review, volume 88.

Fedders recently completed a survey of private domestic adoption agencies to better understand factors affecting adoption costs. About 20 percent of the agencies Fedders studied openly advertised race-based pricing, but she says that some adoption professionals believe that as many as half of all private agencies engage in the practice.

"There are a significant number of private agencies that facilitate adoption that charge different fees based on the race of children being adopted," she says.

Read more... )
[personal profile] 7rin
I'm gonna try to tidy this up to make it more readable, but I suspect if the thread continues, it's gonna wind up being dumped in comments too because I'm gonna run outta character spaces.

How do you feel about adoption?

Jennifer Randazzo Good.

Gloria Orange-Barnett The gift of a safe and loving home to a child in need is truly a gift to oneself.

Lynn Early Brown It is truly a blessing...I was adopted as an infant and my husband and I have adopted both our children thru foster-to-adopt! It is amazing and a gift from God!

Liz Larson-Shidler The best alternative.

Linda Wallin Thrilled! My son comes home from India today with his new son!

Angela Jensen Dunigan We are in the process of my husband adopting my daughter, which will legalize what has already existed for the past nearly 6 years - their father-daughter relationship. I love that she will now have our name too. She's 13 and I can think of no more critical an age for her to have this security of a loving, legal father. I also have loved ones with children whom they adopted at birth. I'm a fan of adoption.

...and then the adoptees start answering )
[personal profile] 7rin
The comments section on KSL.com article after this picture...



...demonstrate clearly the forces of socialisation that work against the adoptee for the entirety of the adoptee's life. This is what we grow up hearing. Even if it's not in the immediate family, the wider world tells us this, and it's not something you can shield us from because it's endemic in English speaking society[1].

Yet people still fail to see how this impacts our perspectives of ourselves as adoptees. Why?
Genealogy is a massive industry, so why wouldn't adoptees want to know who and where they come from?

This is why we shouldn't be losing contact totally in the first place.

People shouldn't NEED to be putting begging pictures up on Fakeblag because they've run out of other options. This information should never be lost to us in the first place.

Even if it's not safe for them to know who and where we are while we're children, as adults that information should be available to us so that WE can decide what we want to do with OUR lives.

Not knowing who you're from is a complete mind-fuck.

[1] I don't know enough about all other societies to be able to say, but I'm sure it's a topic @TransracialEyes is likely to have information on).
[personal profile] 7rin
Socialization, Language, and Scenic Understanding. Alfred Lorenzer's Contribution to a Psycho-societal Methodology
Henning Salling Olesen, Kirsten Weber

Abstract

The article is a guided tour to Alfred LORENZER's proposal for an "in-depth hermeneutic" cultural analysis methodology which was launched in an environment with an almost complete split between social sciences and psychology/psychoanalysis. It presents the background in his materialist socialization theory, which combines a social reinterpretation of the core insights in classical psychoanalysis—the unconscious, the drives—with a theory of language acquisition. His methodology is based on a transformation of the "scenic understanding" from a clinical to a text interpretation, which seeks to understand collective unconscious meaning in text, and is presented with an illustration of the interpretation procedure from social research. Then follows a brief systematic account of key concepts and ideas—interaction forms, engrams, experience, symbolization, language game, utopian imagination—with an outlook to the social theory connections to the Frankfurt School. The practical interpretation procedure in a LORENZER-based psycho-societal research is briefly summarized, emphasizing the role of the researcher subjects in discovering socially unconscious meaning in social interaction. Finally an outlook to contemporary epistemological issues. LORENZER's approach to theorize and research the subject as a socially produced entity appears as a psycho-societal alternative to mainstream social constructivism.

URN: http://nbn-resolving.de/urn:nbn:de:0114-fqs1203229
[personal profile] 7rin
‏@FamilyRightsGp

http://www.frg.org.uk/need-help-or-advice/advice-sheets

Information available as of the date of this post:

Advice sheets

The following Advice Sheets are available from Family Rights Group.
Click on them [over at the FRG site] to view online or download as a PDF.

A. INTRODUCTORY ADVICE SHEETS
1. Introduction to local authority children's services
2. Parental Responsibility
3. What is a family group conference?

B. SUPPORT SERVICES
4. Family support services
5. Family support services for asylum seeking families
6. Social care services for disabled parents
7. Social care services for disabled parents who are asylum seekers
8. What happens to your benefits when a child no longer lives with you

C. CHILD PROTECTION
9. Child protection procedures
10. Advocacy for families in local authority decision-making

D. LOOKED AFTER CHILDREN
11. Duties of local authority when children are in the care system
12. Immediate placement of looked after children with relatives or friends
13. Contact with children in accommodation
14. Contact with children in care
15. Care proceedings
16. Support for young people leaving the care system
17. Reuniting children with their families from local authority care

E. FAMILY AND FRIENDS CARE
18. DIY Residence Orders: information for family friends carers
19. DIY Special Guardianship Orders- information for family and friends carers
20. Special Guardianship - what does it mean for birth parents?
21. Support for relatives and friends who are caring for children
22. Family and friends care: becoming a foster carer

F. ADOPTION
23. Adoption
24. Open adoption

G. CHALLENGES
25. Challenging decisions and making complaints
26. Access to records
[personal profile] 7rin
From Adoptive Families Circle

Are you familiar with the Portal video games? You play as a a character, Chell, and solve various puzzles as you progress through the levels. As you work on the puzzles, you are challenged by an artificial intelligence character, GLaDOS.
Portal was released in 2007, and Portal 2 in 2011. In the original, it was told in Chell’s backstory that he was adopted.

While playing Portal 2, an adoptive father was shocked to hear two characters teasing Chell about being adopted.

An online character Wheatley says, “Alright, fatty. Adopted fatty. Fatty, fatty, no parents,” which GLaDOS follows up on by whispering to Chell, “For the record, you are adopted, and that’s terrible, but just stick with me.” Click the above link to see this footage from the game.

The father, Neal Stapel, was playing the game with his 10 year-old daughter, adopted from China. Luckily, she didn’t seem to have fully heard this conversation. Her father however was very upset by the character’s conversation.

He is unsure what to do about it. He and his daughter still play the game, but just avoid the level where the adoption teasing took place. He did alert the local media about this part of the game in hopes that other adoptive families don’t have to hear the game’s adoption “jokes.”

What’s your reaction to this?
What do you think should be done?
If you, or your child, has played the game, did you hear these adoption “jokes”?
Why do you think this is acceptable by the makers of this game, which is made to be played by children?

Seek Help!

Oct. 1st, 2012 08:09 pm
[personal profile] 7rin
Adoption Truth
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 27, 2012
Two Kinds Of Help

So, we've all been there. We've all heard it at some point or another . . .

When you dare to talk about adoption outside society's accepted views of rainbows and sunshine, you will be told, more than likely many, MANY times, that you need to seek help. That you are somehow sick and unhealthy for your views and opinions and should seek counseling so you can just be "happy" and accept adoption like everyone else does.

It's ironic, to me, when someone makes such a suggestion because I have actually sought help twice in my life.

The first was when I was sixteen and pregnant and trusted my adoption counselor to help me make the best decision for myself and my unborn child. At that time, I never imagined that their counseling was the same counseling they offered every pregnant mother who walked through their doors.

It was not about my own personal situation. It wasn't about me or my child. It was about how best to convince me to see adoption as a loving, selfless option so I would give up my child to the waiting couple who was willing to pay to adopt him.

I could have been Jane Doe from Anywhere, U.S.A. It didn't matter. The counseling would have been the same. Just as it still is to this very day for any vulnerable, pregnant mother trusting her counselor to help her make the right decision for herself and her baby.
Read the rest of the post over at Adoption Truth.
[personal profile] 7rin
Love is not a pie
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 2012
Tweaked

Context is everything

"Adoption is the right choice for some people. It isn't all evil."

Taken by itself, the above statement is one with which I do not disagree. I understand that each adoptive situation has its own unique set of circumstances, and in some of those circumstances adoption may be the best available option, though not necessarily a painless one.

So why was I triggered when I read the statement earlier this morning? Why did feelings ranging from anger to despondency flush through my body?

I was tweaked because the statement appeared as an anonymous comment at the end of a long blog post in which a mother who relinquished wrote of her person experience of pain and trauma resulting from adoption. In that context, it was hard for me to interpret the statement as anything but a dismissal—as one more case of a message falling on deaf ears. "Did he/she even read the post?" I thought.

Sadly, such dismissal is depressingly familiar to me. I am weary—oh so weary—of people telling adoptees and original parents what our feeling about adoption should be, shutting their ears to our descriptions of our actual experiences.
Read the rest of the post over at Love is not a pie.
[personal profile] 7rin
(All bolding = my emphasis; all italics = my comment)

From: http://detroit.cbslocal.com/2012/09/13/parents-to-sue-mich-dhs-for-adoption-fraud/
September 13, 2012 6:39 AM

DETROIT (WWJ) - Some Michigan parents are planning to file a federal lawsuit in Detroit Thursday, claiming that the state and adoption agency officials withheld crucial details about the physical and mental disabilities in the children they adopted.

WWJ Legal Analyst and Talkradio 1270 morning show host Charlie Langton said the parents claim their civil rights have been violated.

“There’s a claim that the civil rights of the parents are being trampled upon by the state because of the state’s failure to disclose information. Who is in the best position to gather information about a child when the child is put up for adoption? It is the state. And if the state is not taking on the responsibility of gathering that information and disclosing that information, that becomes a civil rights violation, that’s a federal issue,” said Langton.

Lansing-area attorneys David and Stephen Kallman told the Detroit Free Press officials from the Department of Human Services and adoption agencies routinely withheld medical records and information about financial subsidies for special-needs children, misled prospective adoptive parents about their rights and stonewalled their attempts to seek assistance.

At the time of adoption, they were presented to parents as healthy babies. But in reality, the lawsuit claims many of the children had significant mental and physical health issues after being born to mothers who were addicted to drugs and alcohol — something the parents claim they were never informed of. Other children were handicapped or had diseases – something the parents claim the state also failed to mention.

Some parents claim their adopted children, most of whom were removed from homes of their biological parent or parents by court order, tortured pets, attacked family members and set fires.

The lawsuit also claims that several light-skinned ethnic minority children were “passed” as Caucasian for the sole purpose of depriving them [is that "them" the kids or their buyers?] of federal and state assistance to which they were entitled.

“It would be in the best interest of everybody if the state would disclose whatever information the state knew about these children before they adopted. I mean, disclosure is the name of the game in so many things. We have disclosure laws when you buy a car or a house, so why shouldn’t we have disclosure laws when you adopt a child,” said Langton. [Absolutely, which is why ALL records should be OPEN to ALL adoptees!]

If disclosure laws were in place, Langton said he thinks the number of adoptions would actually increase.

You have to know what you’re buying, what you’re getting. I don’t want to make it on so impersonal terms here, but we’re talking about the life of a child, that if the parents are doing something good for the children, they should know what they’re getting so they can plan ahead accordingly… I think the state has a duty to go out there and investigate the background of this particular child and the family as well. It would help not only people in Michigan, but across the whole country,” said Langton.

Families included in the lawsuit are seeking as much as $13 million.
[personal profile] 7rin
May 2012

By ADELE AMI SANDERS

A Dissertation

Presented to The University of Salford in partial fulfilment of the requirements for the degree of BSc (Hons) in Sociology

Introduction

Adoption, where children are legally and irrevocably transferred from one family to another is generally viewed as a positively beneficial societal function, providing a family life for children who cannot live with their own biological parents, improving their social, behavioural, educational, and employment outcomes relative to the alternative of long-term foster care. It also provides children for childless couples and helps birth parents who feel, or are deemed unable to parent their children (Triseliotis
2002).

However, this dissertation will consider legally sanctioned ‘forced or contested adoption’ where birth parents completely disapprove of the adoption, and often contest, or oppose it in court, but their approval is lawfully dispensed with as their children are compulsorily adopted most often to strangers (Ryburn, 1997). The topic was chosen as I helped found an internet family support group in 2005 for people experiencing adoption and similar issues. This generated an awareness of the experiences and rising number of birth parents and grandparents whose children and grandchildren were being forcibly adopted. I feel this invites sociological investigation, and leads one to ask whether the State is actually socially engineering families through adoption as a form of social control to construct more compliant, socially acceptable families? However, it must also be recognised that children have a fundamental human right to be immune and protected from abuse and ill-treatment, and are legally protected by domestic and international laws. Therefore in certain extreme cases of genuine neglect and abuse, adoption serves as a necessary way of liberating children from harm, helping and supporting them to fulfil a stable family life (Pardeck, 2006).

Chapter One provides a historical context of adoption, and considers how and why adoption has increasingly been used as a permanency option for children in care (Ball, 2005). This is followed by a brief historical contextual summary of key adoption legislation and past/current political positions. Chapter Two consists of a detailed literature review, with analysis from a critical realist epistemological perspective. This will examine grand theories such as Donzelot’s (1979) ‘Tutelary complex’, Weber’s (1991) theories on ‘Rationalization’ and Foucault’s (1997b) concept of ‘Governmentality’, in relation to contested adoption. Consideration of feminist literature will follow highlighting how patriarchal social and legal constructions of motherhood disempower, control and marginalise birth mothers. Subsequent to this will be an analysis of the interactionist theories of Goffman (1968) regarding social stigma and its relation to forced adoption. Lastly there will be a critique of empirical studies and literature, exploring the impact of contested adoption on birth mothers, and their subjective experiences of this.

Contested Adoption: The Social Engineering of Families (Negotiating stigma and social exclusion) (Full Dissertation - PDF 237KB)
[personal profile] 7rin
MumsNet Discussion: This fear that social services will come and take your children...

Message poster willsurvivethis Fri 29-Jan-10 15:41:24
...it worries me!

There seem to be so many women out there who are afraid to seek help for depression and other problems out of fear that they will lose their children.

I have just asked MNHQ if they would consider doing something with this. Because surely if so many of us fear to lose our children something is going wrong somewhere! Surely we should all be albe to seek help with confidence?

What are your thoughts on this? I struggle with PTSD and even told my doctor that I tended to keep emotional distance from my ds when he's ill without even considering the possibility of that having repercussions.

Message poster Comewhinewithme Fri 29-Jan-10 15:45:12
Yes I won't go to the GP and tell him that since having my dd I have flashbacks to the awful birth and somedays I feel as though I can't go on because I am scared that ss would somehow become involved .

Message poster Comewhinewithme Fri 29-Jan-10 15:46:09
You are right BTW it does need addressing so people are not afraid to access the help they need.

Message poster FlamingoBingo Fri 29-Jan-10 15:48:25
Yup. I'm afraid to be honest about how I feel sometimes for fear of what will happen to my children.

Message poster JollyPirate Fri 29-Jan-10 16:04:23
Yes this needs addressing. I have recently worked with a young Mum who took ages tp seek help for her terrible PND because her Mum told her that if she was antidepressants her shit of a boyfriend (who physically, emotionally and psychologically abused her) would be able to get custody of their two children . Or that social services would be round.

It took me an awful lot of visiting and listening and discussion before she felt able to seek the help she needed. An awful lot of reassurance that she was brilliant mum doing a fantastic job before she could believe me.

Now she is better - on antidepressants but weaning off.

Definitely needs discussion.

(Read more)
[personal profile] 7rin
From Adoption Advertising

There are many more couples looking to adopt babies than there are babies available. The cost of an individual adoption can vary greatly depending on a number of factors. Living expenses vary depending on the length of the pregnancy and the temperament of the individual birthmother. Keep in mind, some states cap living expenses, some don't. Also, professional costs vary from state to state. It's also important to remember that economy is not always the best strategy. You definitely want to make sure that the professionals handling your case know what they are doing.
The following is a range of total costs and the minimum budget we require to work with us.. It does not include your homestudy, adoptive parent travel costs, and some states birth mother medical expenses, but does include our fee, travel costs for the birthmother, living expenses, social work and legal fees.

Caucasian: $25K - $40K Min. Budget of $25K
Biracial: $18K to $25K Min. Budget of $18K
AA: $15K to $20K Min. Budget of $15K

Of course, everyone wants the most economical adoption possible. We normally give the cases with little or no living expenses to adoptive parents that have had fall-thrus. Last minute situations or those with the baby already born, which by their nature are cheaper, require adoptive parents that are willing to act swiftly and take some risks. There are often unknowns about the birthfather, CPS involvement and drug use. If you are the kind of adoptive parent that wants to know everything about a particular situation then an almost or already born situation is not for you.
[personal profile] 7rin
Get your bargain basement baby from Ever-Lasting Adoptions...

{quote}
In recognition of November as National Adoption Month and in an effort to help all of our prospective adoptive parents in these difficult economic times of today, we have made the decision to lower our fees for the BI-RACIAL THROUGH CAUCASIAN program to $5000 total and the FULL AFRICAN AMERICAN PROGRAM TO $3000.
{/quote}
[personal profile] 7rin
http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/SmilingAdoptees.html

Happy Adoptees
By Julie A. Rist


I am not the happy and grateful adoptee that you want me to be. Don’t get me wrong. I was happy and grateful for almost 45 years – or so I believed. Had you asked me then how I felt about being adopted, you might have heard something like, “Great! I am so grateful to my (adoptive) parents for all they did and, no, I am not interested in finding my ‘real’ family. My adoptive family is my ‘real’ family, thankyouverymuch, and they are a wonderful family. I’ve had a wonderful life. Of course, I am grateful to my natural mother for giving me life. Oh, you’re adopting? How wonderful!”

I enthusiastically expressed that view all those years because I needed to convince myself that my life was normal and right and that I was okay. I did it because everyone else wanted me to feel that way, too. And I thought I would die if I ever looked deeper.

Happy children

You’ve seen adopted children who seem to be perfectly happy, too. They smile and have fun just like those whose families are intact. They act happy and, occasionally, they are.

Yes, adopted children smile and laugh. Did you stop smiling after you lost a loved one? Didn’t you still laugh when someone said something funny? Weren’t you still capable of having some fun?

Did you ever smile and act happy to hide your grief?

Of course you did. But even when you smiled, those close to you knew it didn’t mean you were happy. Those close to you accepted and expected your pain and sadness. They did not expect you to be happy about your loss. They gave you something most adoptees do not get: acknowledgement of, empathy for, and permission to express your grief.

What grief?

Read more... )
[personal profile] 7rin
Adoption Loss is the only trauma in the world where the victims are expected by the whole of society to be grateful - The Reverend Keith C. Griffith MBEPlease sign the petition I've created:
Allow adult adoptees to be repatriated into THEIR OWN families
@
http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/38120



Posts within this community are under-going over-haul in an effort to make the information contained within them easier to find.

Sadly, the process of over-hauling is likely to cause those visiting from previously posted links to either encounter information they are not expecting to find, or possibly even dead links. I apologise to any visitor who encounters such difficulties, and ask that they refer to the community tag reference page in order to more easily find the information they were originally seeking.

During the course of time, the administrative staff of this community have been saddened to find that some of the valuable information that has been previously linked is no longer available from whence it originally came (perhaps it got surprise adopted? ;)), thus, as a ward against the loss of valuable information, many posts will now be replicated in full. If you are the original author of such works and oppose its replication on this site, please contact the administrative team on 7rin dot on dot adoption at gmail dot com.

The administrative staff of this community thank you for your time.
[personal profile] 7rin
Adoption Issues From a Strengths Perspective
By Deborah H. Siegel, PhD, LICSW, DCSW, ACSW
Social Work Today - July/August 2008 Issue - Vol. 8 No. 4 P. 34

Birth parents, adoptive parents, and adoptees face predictable crises given the life-changing nature of this event. Idealized or deficit approaches don't work, but a strengths perspective does.

Sam is a bright, energetic, enthusiastic 12-year-old boy. His mom and dad, Mary and Mack, love him dearly and are earnest, skilled parents who conscientiously create a nurturing home. Sam thrives; he has a best friend next door, gets Bs in school, attends weekly religious school and prayer services, walks his dog every day after school, and enjoys riding his bike and playing his electric guitar. He and his parents often go on hikes, attend sporting events, and take day trips as a family or with friends. It appears that Sam is doing well because he is adopted.

This description accurately summarizes Sam's life, and so does this: Sam was born with cocaine, marijuana, and alcohol in his tiny body. Sam's birth father, incarcerated shortly after Sam was conceived, has never seen him. The state child welfare agency removed Sam from his mother's custody shortly after birth, and in the first two years of life, Sam lived in four different foster homes before he was legally freed for adoption. Sam's behavior is often impulsive, hyperactive, and inattentive. His classmates tend to steer clear of him because he bumps into them, grabs their things, or blurts out rude comments (e.g., "You're stupid!"). Homework is a daily struggle, as Sam finds it hard to sit still and stay on task. He often forgets, loses, or partially completes his assignments. Lately, his behavior at home has been especially irritable; when his parents prompt him to do a task he doesn't like, he yells, "You're not the boss of me!" and stomps away. He's spending more time alone in his room. It appears that Sam is struggling because he is adopted.

Read more... )

- Deborah H. Siegel, PhD, LICSW, DCSW, ACSW, is a professor in the School of Social Work at Rhode Island College, a clinician specializing in adoption issues, an adoption researcher, and an adoptive parent.

Portal 2

Jul. 6th, 2011 04:51 am
[personal profile] 7rin
Adoptive parents are selfish idiots part infinity

Recently a new computer game Portal 2 was released. It contains taunting that the protagonist is
fat, stupid, and adopted.
This seems unnecessary, thoughtless and hurtful all round. I don’t think we should be teaching kids that these are okay things to say to people but one set of adoptive parents managed to make it all about themselves. According to Neal Stapel the adopted father of a ten year old adoptee says
that this was "literally the worst thing I could have probably heard."
Really? Mate you have lived a charmed life if that’s the worst thing that has ever passed through your delicate ear canals. The report then goes on to say ...
[personal profile] 7rin
Sants, H.J. (1964) Genealogical Bewilderment in Children with Substitute Parents. British Journal of Medical Psychology 37(?). pp.133-141

"In 1964, H.J. Sants ... coined the phrase 'genealogical bewilderment'"

O'Shaughnessy, T. (1994). Adoption, social work and social theory: Making the connections. Brookfield, VT: Ashgate Publishing. (p.119)

Adoption, blood kinship, stigma, and the Adoption Reform Movement: A historical perspective @ http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa3757/is_200201/ai_n9059070/pg_10/
[personal profile] 7rin
http://changingminds.org/explanations/theories/yale_attitude_change.htm

Description
A Yale University multi-year, multi-project research into persuasive communication showed (amongst other things):

Who (source of communication):
  • The speaker should be credible and attractive to the audience.

Says what (nature of communication):
  • Messages should not appear to be designed to persuade.
  • Present two-sided arguments (refuting the ‘wrong’ argument, of course).
  • If two people are speaking one after the other, it is best to go first (primacy effect).
  • If two people are speaking with a delay between them, it is best to go last (recency effect).

To whom (the nature of the audience)
  • Distract them during the persuasion
  • Lower intelligence and moderate self-esteem helps.
  • The best age range is 18-25.

Example
Watch politicians. They do this wonderfully well. They look great. They talk through the other side's argument, making it first seem reasonable then highlighting all their problems. It all seems to be just common sense spoken by a really nice person...

So what?
Using it
So use the advice. And note the point about 'not appearing to be designed to persuade'. People with new understanding about persuasion can get too enthusiastic about using it, quickly getting to the point where the other people know what they are doing.

See also
Persuasion

References
Hovland, Janis and Kelley (1953)

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