7rin on adoption

Adoption: A Different Option

2013-09-17T13:22:22Z

Posted by: 7rin

http://www.the-broad-side.com/adoption-a-different-option

by Rebekah Kuschmider on September 12, 2013

For many years, anti-choice activists have suggested that adoption is the kinder option than abortion. They argue that babies deserve life and there are families who will adopt unwanted infants. Recently, conservative pundit S.E. Cupp intimated it that it was a moral obligation of pregnant women otherwise considering abortion to instead carry babies to term so that families seeking children could have the opportunity to be parents. It seems like a winning combination: unwanted baby, family who wants a baby, woman absolved of responsibility for the baby.

Adoption should be an option. Only, I’m not talking about the babies-to-be. I’m talking about the mothers-to-be.

I do not wish to minimize the strength of character it takes for a woman and an adoptive couple to reach terms that allow a baby to be given the best home possible. That’s an admirable course of action. For a woman who is not in circumstances to raise a child, finding an adoptive family for an unborn baby can be a blessing of invaluable magnitude. But why should the mother give up a baby whom, studies suggest, she would undoubtedly love? Why should the mother continue to live in circumstances that preclude raising a child when her circumstances could be changed by the act of adopting…her?

Anti-choice families who wish to see women carry, birth and raise babies should bring those women into their homes. They should treat them as they would treat their own pregnant daughter. Provide them with food, clothing and shelter. Enroll them on their insurance plan and get them the best prenatal care. Find a school for the women to attend if they need education, assist them in finding work if they need work. Give them a car. Give them emotional support. Take them to church and social events. Make them a part of the life that they lead – a forever life, not just the duration of the pregnancy.

After the baby is born, give mother and baby the same shower of love, support and material goods that they would a grandchild. They should offer assistance with childcare so the mother can work or attend school, maybe subsidize an apartment if they want to have their own place. They should read stories to and play tag with the child as he or she grows, and welcome mother and child beneath the Christmas tree and at the Thanksgiving table every year.

Make having a baby possible. Make raising a baby possible.

Too often I read about Crisis Pregnancy Centers that counsel against abortion and offer pregnant women rudimentary help. Cast-off baby goods. Diapers. A sheaf of papers they can use to apply for housing or medical aid. But how much of a difference does that ultimately make? Does it break the cycle of poverty? Elevate women to true self-sufficiency? Does it prevent the next unintended pregnancy? Or is it a band-aid on a larger issue, measures meant to make sure babies are born? But what happens after? What happens to mothers who raise their babies within our limited safety net? What happens to mothers who relinquish their babies to adoption?

Yes, adoption is an option and no one is saying it shouldn’t be. But as a student of the nature of unintended pregnancy, my conclusions after reading about who the women who seek abortion is that it isn’t their babies who need to be whisked off to a better life. It’s them.

comments

Adopting teenagers

2013-09-12T07:09:53Z

Posted by: 7rin

http://offbeatfamilies.com/2013/09/adopting-a-teenager#comment-133879

On September 11th, 2013 at 8:07 PM
Krista said
I was unofficially adopted at 18 by one if my teachers my senior year and her husband. They didn't have any children of their own yet (biological or otherwise) so I was it. The most important thing they did for me was make me feel wanted. I ate dinner with them and was welcomed to their family parties, get togethers, and outings. They spoke of me as their own and bought me things that parents buy kids – clothes and little surprises here and there. They took the time to know my likes and dislikes and they engaged me in conversation. When they had a baby three years later, they involved me in her life (and now, 9 1/2 years later, I am someone's beloved Sissy!). They gave me boundaries and rules while I lived with them. They tried to understand my dreams and encourage me in pursuing them. They encouraged me to maintain contact with my grandma, to whom I was very close. And they loved me, regardless of what I did or said in my hurt and pain that came with needing new parents at 18.

Reply to this comment over @ http://offbeatfamilies.com/2013/09/adopting-a-teenager#comment-133879

comments

Adopters Abuse & Kill Adoptees

2013-08-27T19:13:50Z

Posted by: 7rin

http://poundpuplegacy.org/node/19123

David and Samuel Briggs (David and Samuel Filipache)

In October 2000, less than four months after arriving in County Armagh, 14-month-old David died in the care of his adoptive parents Gwen and Geoffrey Briggs.
The Assistant State Pathologist for Northern Ireland, Dr Michael Curtis, failed to examine X-rays which showed multiple fractures on David's body when he carried out an initial post-mortem. Later his body was exhumed and a second post-mortem examination revealed 27 partially-healed fractures.

Two weeks after the death of David Briggs, his 14-month old twin brother Samuel was brought to hospital with a fractured skull. Geoffrey Briggs had punched the child for refusing to take some medicine. Unlike his brother Samuel survived the attack.
Geoffrey Briggs received one year imprisonment for the attack on Samuel and was released after six months when he was being attacked by fellow inmates, after which the couple fled to Scotland. For the death of David no-one was ever charged. The Briggs were former overseas missionaries.
The boys were adopted from Romania, where there parents were unaware of their adoption.
Date: 2000-10-01
Placement type: Adoption
Type of abuse: Non-lethal physical abuse, Lethal physical abuse
Abuser: Adoptive father

http://poundpuplegacy.org/node/15494

John Smith

John Smith, died with 54 bruises, including three adult bite marks, on his body. The boy, was seen with injuries in four of the six months he spent with his prospective adoptive parents Simon and Michelle McWilliam. His penis was cut, his face burnt and his body bruised from head to toe, injuries seen by social workers who never once sought medical help for him.

John died on Christmas Eve 1999 from a severe brain haemorrhage, which experts testified was caused by blows normally seen on battered boxers.

Date: 1999-12-24
Placement type: To be adopted
Type of abuse: Lethal physical abuse
Abuser: Adoptive father, Adoptive mother

http://poundpuplegacy.org/node/46488

Nilanthie Perera

13-year-old girl adopted from Sri Lanka by Samson and Dammika Perera, was murdered by her adoptive father. Parts of the Nilanthie's body were hidden under the floorboards; others were secreted in pot plants and a coffee jar. Samson Perera was given a life sentence, while Dammika Perera was jailed for helping him cover up the crime.
Date: 1985-01-01
Placement type: Adoption
Type of abuse: Lethal physical abuse
Abuser: Adoptive father

comments

Children abused and tortured by adoptive mother for a decade were 'let down' by authorities

2013-08-27T19:07:30Z

Posted by: 7rin

http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/children-abused-and-tortured-by-adoptive-mother-866098

By Pete Bainbridge
21 Jul 2011 11:45

Leading scientist Dr Jill Newcombe-Buley assaulted and bullied her kids for a decade, making their young lives a misery. She slapped and suffocated the youngsters and even stamped on one with a stiletto heel at their affluent Cheshire home. Dr Newcombe-Buley was jailed for four years after admitting the child cruelty last year. But a serious case review into the care has revealed that the abuse was "both predictable and preventable".

Three children who were tortured and abused by their adoptive mother were "repeatedly let down" by schools and social services, a damning report has found.

Leading scientist Dr Jill Newcombe-Buley assaulted and bullied her kids for a decade, making their young lives a misery. She slapped and suffocated the youngsters and even stamped on one with a stiletto heel at their affluent Cheshire home.

Dr Newcombe-Buley was jailed for four years after admitting the child cruelty last year. But a serious case review into the care has revealed that the abuse was "both predictable and preventable".

The probe found that:

There were TEN missed opportunities to investigate the abuse
They were "badly let down" by all four schools they attended over the decade.
The children's teachers had repeated concerns about their home life, but did not raise the alarm.
The children should never have been placed in care with Dr Newcombe-Buley and her husband.
Many of the social care staff who spoke with the children "let themselves down professionally" and failed to fully investigate abuse allegations.
David Mellor, the independent chair of Cheshire East Local Safeguarding Children Board said the three youngsters were "repeatedly let down by the agencies supposed to protect them".

The agencies involved in the children's care were Cheshire Police; Cheshire East Community Health; Cheshire East Council; Cheshire East Primary Care Trust; Cheshire and Wirral Partnership NHS Foundation Trust; East Cheshire NHS Trust and Staffordshire County Council.

Mr Mellor apologised to the children, and said: "All the agencies involved have clearly let these youngsters down by failing to take action. On behalf of these organisations, I would like to offer sincere and heartfelt apologies to all three children for this.

"The nine-year period of this review - starting with a flawed adoption process – shows a series of failings by a number of agencies.

"It is clear that teachers had concerns but never recorded or escalated those concerns to raise the alarm. One of the children repeatedly tried to report the abuse, which all the siblings had suffered, to social workers and police. Time and time again they were let down.

"This has been a particularly difficult case for everyone, not least because of the disguised compliance of the adoptive parents, which staff in many agencies were unwilling to challenge.

"We are taking action to ensure that failings which occurred will not be repeated in the future. I would stress that the children are now safe, being protected and helped to recover from their terrible ordeal."

Jill Newcombe-Buley, 45, from Prestbury, near Macclesfield, pleaded guilty to 15 charges of child cruelty and was sentenced at Liverpool Crown Court in October, last year.

She sobbed as she was jailed for four years.

Newcombe-Buley – who was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder – also plunged the children into ice-cold baths and smothered them with a pillow. One child was hit over the head with a dustbin, causing a gash.

Her husband, top chemist Dr Nicholas Newcombe, admitted child neglect after he failed to report her to the authorities.

Newcombe, 43, of London Road, Hazel Grove, Stockport, admitted three charges of child neglect. He was given a 12-month sentence, suspended for a year, at the same hearing, last October.

He had been aware of ‘a small fraction’ of the abuse and did not witness it, the court heard.

The children, who cannot be named for legal reasons, were assaulted and neglected at the former family home in Prestbury between 2001 and 2009.

Newcombe-Buley, a doctor of chemistry and high-flyer in pharmaceutical research, became the ‘main carer’ while Newcombe worked for pharmaceuticals giant AstraZeneca.

The court heard the eldest child ‘courageously’ alerted the authorities.

There is no suggestion the abuse was sexual.

comments

The boy's behaviour... Pimms and getting plastered

2013-07-29T18:11:36Z

Posted by: 7rin

Also known as the DOUBLE STANDARDS of hypocritical system.

{quote}
One way to snap out of Pimms induced tipsiness is to hear your child scream in pain. I know this, because this weekend I snapped out of Pimms induced tipsiness after hearing my daughter scream in pain.

What happened? In short, Mini accidentally fell over onto Dollop's leg and after 4.5 hours in A&E she has emerged with a plaster cast from her toes to her thigh for her broken leg. My poor baby girl.
{/quote}

What's absolutely disgusting about this post @ http://www.theboysbehaviour.co.uk/2013/07/pimms-and-getting-plastered.html is that there are so very very many kids who would get snatched from THEIR OWN families because of an incident like this - especially since the post indicates the adopter is under the influence of alcohol at the time of the accident.

The sad part is that I actually like The Boys's Behaviour poster, and know that they do actually strive to do the best for the kids being raised. However, as mentioned at the start of this post, it does demonstrate the hypocrisy of the current system. :(

comments

Adopting a Black Baby is Cheaper Than Adopting a White Baby

2013-07-09T17:47:59Z

Posted by: 7rin

@ http://www.policymic.com/articles/52449/adopting-a-black-baby-is-cheaper-than-adopting-a-white-baby

By Evangeline Furton

When Minneapolis native Caryn Lantz and her husband, both white, decided to adopt, they were open to adopting any child, regardless of ethnic background. According to NPR, the two were shocked to discover that some babies could be adopted more economically than others. They were faced with an uncomfortable truth of American adoption today: it is far cheaper to adopt a black child than a child of any other race.

For a black child, the process of adoption is quicker as well. A social worker at an adoption agency the Lantzes visited explained to them that this was because they had many black children waiting for families. Adopting a Caucasian, Asian, Latino, or Biracial child would take longer because there were more people willing to adopt them. Lantz says “I remember hearing this and just sort of being dumbfounded that they would sort of segregate — to use a loaded term — segregate these children by ethnic background before they were even in this world.”

Another adoptive parent, Dawn Friedman of the blog "Love Isn't Enough," found that the three adoption agencies she looked at charged full price for children of all races besides black, and around half price for black children. When Friedman explained that she would take whatever baby came her way, she was advised by one agency that “You may as well get the fee break. If you are open to adopting a black baby, you will get a black baby.”

There are reasons why this has happened. A study published by the Centre for Economic Policy Research found that the probability that a non-African American child will have interested potential adoptive parents is at least seven times as high as the probability for an African American child. This preference against black babies turns into differing adoption costs. The rationale is that people are more willing to get over racial preferences if they can adopt for less. Some adoption professionals also say that generally there are fewer non-African American infants available, and more demand for them.

"Obviously, any time … somebody brings up the word discrimination, everybody's going to … draw attention to the issue, whether or not there's an issue there," said Sean Lance, the director of American Adoptions, an agency whose price ranging results in parents paying more to adopt non-African American babies, “It's not set up as discriminatory.”

He says that minority mothers often qualify for financial support like Medicaid, which pays for their expenses while carrying babies and sometimes even the cost of delivery. White mothers often don’t, so those expenses are added to the cost of adopting the baby.

For the Lantz couple the cost to adopt a Caucasian child was approximately $35,000. For a full African American girl, it was about $18,000. Lantz says, "When they told me the fees for the white child, I was in a Babies R Us and I remember having to sit down in the aisle and say to myself, 'I don't think we can afford to adopt this child.'"

Some states and agencies are using a different system: instead of making some babies cheaper or more expensive to adopt, they base prices on the incomes of prospective families so that lower-income families pay less to adopt. Other agencies are trying to move towards a system where all adoptive parents pay an identical fee for all adoptions.

There is much to recommend such a system, although not everyone agrees on its practicality. The Economist opined that “No doubt, the idea of placing a lower value on children based on race or sex is repugnant. But if it results in finding a loving home for children, and sparing them years in foster care, it may be the lesser of two evils.”

A question facing adoptive parents of African American children is what they will tell their children when they are older. Doubtless, it will be painful for these children to hear that the adoption agencies their parents located them through gave them up at a discount.

Caryn Lantz worries: "I am a little nervous about what we're gonna do when he (her son) starts to understand why someone approached us at Target and thanked us for saving babies.”

Dawn Friedman writes: “I have a friend who is also an adoptive mother in a transracial adoption and who also used an agency with a racist fee structure. She says, ‘My child will NEVER know that our adoption cost less because of his skin color!’ Her argument? Knowing will cut to the core of his self-esteem.” Friedman herself will tell her daughter the circumstances of her adoption. As she says: “It is her right. It is her story.”

comments

The ethics of keeping a child from its parents

2013-04-09T17:29:11Z

Posted by: 7rin

@ http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7889302.stm

A child is removed after its parents are accused of abuse. The child is adopted and settles with a new family. If the parents are then cleared, should the child be returned, ask ethicists Rebecca Roache and Barbro Bjorkman.

Mark and Nicky Webster have lost a bid to overturn adoption orders on three of their children.

The children were removed in 2005, following concerns over injuries incurred to one of the children.

Subsequent investigations revealed that the injuries may have resulted from a medical condition, and that the Websters may not have harmed the child after all.

However, with the children now settled with their adoptive families, senior appeal court judges have ruled that while the Websters may have suffered a miscarriage of justice, it is not in the children's interests to overturn the adoption orders.

Assuming that the Websters are indeed innocent of harming their child, has the court made the right decision?

( Read more... )

comments

Troubled families: 'You need to do something bad before you get support'

2013-04-07T16:43:27Z

Posted by: 7rin

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2013/apr/07/troubled-families-support-cameron

David Cameron has pledged to help 120,000 families turn their lives around before 2015. Amelia Gentleman gains exclusive access to three families on the list

Sometime after midday, Daniel Smith, 19, gets up from the sofa, where he has been sleeping beneath a grey, coverless duvet, and races upstairs to his mum's room, which is open because in a fit of unexplained fury last week he kicked the door off its hinges. The door is leaning against the wall, waiting for someone to fix it. He rummages through some papers on the windowsill and finds an appointment letter for a meeting with the Work Programme, the government's initiative to get people off benefits and into jobs.

When he sees the time of the appointment (11am) he swears and curses the programme officials because he has missed it. His mother, Estelle, who is lying on her bed in a pink leopard-skin onesie, looks at him kindly but doesn't say anything. Tara, the oldest of his three sisters, who is dressed and sitting on the bed, leaning against her mother's knees, stroking the family's black-and-white cat, says maybe he should call to try to rearrange. Daniel shouts that his benefits are going to be sanctioned and stamps downstairs in a fury, but does not make the call.

No one in the house is aware that the family has been placed on a list of the 2,385 most troubled families in the city where they live, Manchester; and among 120,000 across the country. Their key worker, Julie Cusack, is reluctant to tell them they are part of the government's troubled families programme, anxious not to alienate them unnecessarily. She tells them the council has decided to offer "extra support".

( Read more... )

comments

You never took drugs, but you cannot keep your child

2013-03-16T20:41:30Z

Posted by: 7rin

Some family court rulings are impossible to understand
By Christopher Booker4:41PM GMT 16 Mar 2013

As our social workers continue to break all records in the number of children they remove from their parents – the latest figures for England and Wales show that the number of care applications is this year likely to rise above 11,000, approaching three times their level in April 2008 – our Education Secretary, Michael Gove, is determined to increase the comparatively small percentage of those children who then go on to be adopted. In support of this policy (Mr Gove was successfully adopted, and his new Children’s Minister, Edward Timpson, was brought up with two adoptive siblings), their department commissioned two academics, Barry Luckock and Dr Karen Broadhurst, to produce a report that purports to show that, bar one or two minor criticisms, the process of removing children for adoption by new parents is working well.

( Read more... )

This month, in a last desperate bid to get her daughter back, the mother appealed to another judge to stop the adoption order, relying on the rule that such an application can be granted if the mother can show that her “circumstances have changed”. When she yet again, I gather, produced medical evidence, going back several years, to show that she had never been a drug addict or an alcoholic, the new judge apparently accepted this as convincing. But, astonishingly, the judge went on to rule that, since the mother had never been either of these things, her circumstances could not be said to have “changed”. The adoption must therefore still go ahead.

Almost as chillingly, the mother was then allowed to see a small part of the report the social workers had prepared to be shown to her daughter’s new adoptive parents. This not only contains a string of simple factual errors; it still paints her in the most damning light as having, despite the judge’s finding, “a history of drug and alcohol misuse”, adding: “It is reported that she has attempted suicide on nine occasions.”

This may all help to convince the adoptive parents that they have rescued the new member of their family from a fate worse than death (the report is even anxious to record that the mother is “a smoker” and “wears high heels and make-up”). And no doubt if Mr Gove’s academics had been given an account of this case by the local authority’s solicitor, it might have seemed another success story for the adoption process. But to anyone who has followed just what this mother and child have been put through since they were torn apart in 2010, and who is aware of just how dysfunctional so much of our “child protection” system has become, I’m afraid this story is not just yet another shocking travesty of justice; it is an almost unbearable tragedy.

comments

[Index] Price Lists

2013-03-16T00:40:58Z

Posted by: 7rin

Available adoption situations @ Adoption Truth and Transparency Worldwide Network

Professional Adoption Situations @ abcadoptions dot com /prosituations1210.htm actually made me vomit in my mouth.

Babies for sale @ http://adoptioncritic.com/2011/08/18/babies-for-sale/

comments

Delayed Posttraumatic Stress Disorder Model (Unification Theory)

2013-03-08T08:54:23Z

Posted by: 7rin

Delayed Posttraumatic Stress Disorder Model for Schizophrenia and Depression
(The Unification Theory of Mental Illness)
Clancy D. McKenzie, M.D., B.C.E.T.S
Philadelphia Psychiatric Consultation Service

A combat veteran exposed to a loud noise 10, 20, or 30 years after combat reacts in a predictable way. Any event, sufficiently intense and similar to earlier combat experience, can precipitate a flashback or even a delayed Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. The reaction is understood because the initial combat experience was life-threatening.

Few realize that separation from the mother to the baby can be more frightening than war trauma to the soldier. For 150 million years of patterning of the mammalian brain, separation from the mother has meant death, and thus the human infant is very sensitive and easily overwhelmed by events that would seem non-traumatic to the adult.

To the soldier, a loud noise in the present precipitates a flashback to a loud noise in the distant past. To the schizophrenic, separation from a "most important person" (husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend) - or group - in the present, precipitates a flashback to separation from the "most important person" (mother) in the distant past. The author has found that each initial psychotic episode - if the history is known - is precipitated by a separation from a most important person (or group) in the present.

To the soldier, the flashback is to combat experience, behavior and reality. To the schizophrenic, the flashback is to infant experience, behavior and reality. Each piece of bizarre reality and behavior of the schizophrenic matches in some way that of the infant at the time/age of the original trauma.

( Read more... )

©1998 by The American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress, Inc.

comments

Women at Risk of Post-Abortion Trauma

2013-03-02T05:02:53Z

Posted by: 7rin

Coercion, be it in adoption or abortion, is wrong. Plain fact.

Just don't look at the rest of the site 'cause they're scarily pro-life.

By David C. Reardon, Ph.D.

Since 1980, mental health providers have begun treating an increasing number of women who are suffering mental and emotional difficulties as a result of induced abortions. The best available evidence indicates that on average there is a ten year period of denial during which women who were traumatized by their abortions will repress their feelings.14,15 Therefore, as reported by former U.S. Surgeon General Koop, existing research is inadequate to measure the magnitude of this problem.

But while the number of women who suffer post-abortion trauma is unknown, the characteristics of women most likely to suffer severe post-abortion problems have been identified. Psychologists who work with women suffering from post-abortion sequelae have identified several common factors which can be used to identify women who are at the highest risk of suffering from these problems. In brief, women at high risk are those who:

Feel pressured into having the abortion, or feel uncertainty or ambivalence about their choice.

( Read more... )

comments

A #ModernMom Adoption (2 parts)

2013-02-26T06:08:02Z

Posted by: 7rin

( I am hiding the entire article behind this cut tag because it is THAT repulsive )

I have actually made a comment on the article, though I sincerely doubt that it will make it past moderation. This is the comment I left:

What an utterly SICKENING article.

Adoptees have every right to get to know THEIR OWN families, and to read an adopter dismissing OUR OWN families in such horrible ways is horrific!

We are also not ‘gifts’, but actual real people. You actually are heartless as you entirely negate the problem ADOPTEES suffer with from being adopted by describing us as that.

As an adoptee, I find this article vile and repulsive, and am thoroughly gladdened that my own adopters were nowhere near as callous and clueless as you’re making yourself sound!

comments

Adoption Bonuses: The Money Behind the Madness

2013-02-25T18:11:44Z

Posted by: 7rin

DSS and affiliates rewarded for breaking up families
By Nev Moore
Massachusetts News

Child "protection" is one of the biggest businesses in the country. We spend $12 billion a year on it.

The money goes to tens of thousands of a) state employees, b) collateral professionals, such as lawyers, court personnel, court investigators, evaluators and guardians, judges, and c) DSS contracted vendors such as counselors, therapists, more "evaluators", junk psychologists, residential facilities, foster parents, adoptive parents, MSPCC, Big Brothers/Big Sisters, YMCA, etc. This newspaper is not big enough to list all of the people in this state who have a job, draw a paycheck, or make their profits off the kids in DSS custody.

In this article I explain the financial infrastructure that provides the motivation for DSS to take people’s children – and not give them back.

( Read more... )

comments

Severe Abuse of Adopted Children Committee Report Sept 2012

2013-02-25T17:47:33Z

Posted by: 7rin

Prepared by Patrick Dowd (.pdf file)
Office of the Family & Children’s Ombudsman

Governor Gregoire:

We are pleased to submit the Report on Severe Abuse of Adopted Children. This report is a joint project of the Children’s Administration and the Office of the Family and Children’s Ombudsman and examines ways to improve our adoption system, protect children and strengthen families.

To assist our work, we convened a multi-disciplinary group of professionals within the child welfare and adoption system. The report’s objective analysis of adoption issues and corresponding recommendations resulted from the efforts and collective knowledge of this workgroup. We appreciate the contributions of each member and the dedication they brought to this project.

The report recommendations address each phase of the adoption process from assessing and training prospective adoptive parents, to support services for adopted children and their families. In order to implement the majority of these recommendations, it is essential that CA develop a detailed work plan identifying a strategy and timeframe to carry out these reforms.

While cases of severe abuse and neglect of adopted children are not unique to Washington State, our state is in the forefront of efforts to strengthen the adoption process to address this issue. Thank you for your leadership and commitment to excellence in our child welfare system.

Sincerely,
Mary Meinig & Denise Revels Robinson

Click here to read the rest of the report.

comments

The Eight Great Fallacies of Adoption

2013-02-22T00:46:36Z

Posted by: 7rin

By Anne D. Slagle, adoptee
Originally found @ http://www.unlockingtheheart.com/A_eight_fallacies.htm

Adoption is one of those subjects that everyone thinks they know something about – and has an opinion on. Unfortunately, many of these opinions are wrong, since most people are not adopted, and have no first-hand experience of the adoption process or the effects it has on the families involved in adoption. There are many fallacies concerning adoption – some of them may surprise you!

One: Adoptive parents make better parents than ordinary people because they wanted a child so badly and went to so much trouble to get one. ( Read more... )

Two: Happy adoptees, who are completed satisfied with their parents and home will never want to search for their birth kin, only the unhappy and maladjusted will feel a need to search. ( Read more... )

Three: Adoptees who search are looking for fantasy, the "perfect parents" who will love and cherish them, and they will inevitably be cruelly disappointed when they meet with reality. ( Read more... )

Four: A searching adoptee poses a real threat to the security and anonymity of the birthparent(s). ( Read more... )

Five: An adoptee belongs to his or her new family forever – and owes them something more than the ordinary offspring owes his family. ( Read more... )

Six: Sealed records protect the birthmother from intrusion into her life by the child she relinquished for adoption. Sealed records protect no one, least of all the birthparent. ( Read more... )

Seven: Adoptees are better off not knowing that they are adopted. They will never need to search, and will not grow up feeling "different." ( Read more... )

Eight: An adoptee is bound to honor the agreement of adoption and to never challenge the wisdom of the sealed records, he has a right only to the information that others are willing to give. ( Read more... )

Anne D. Slagle, adoptee
THE ALMA SOCIETY
Adoptees Liberty Movement Association

comments

How to stop languishing and get yourself adopted

2013-02-12T01:06:29Z

Posted by: 7rin

I didn't write this, unfortunately.

http://minnesota.publicradio.org/display/web/2013/01/14/trenka

January 14, 2013

By Jane Jeong Trenka

@ MPR News

Jane Jeong Trenka was adopted from Korea to Minnesota in 1972. She is author of the memoirs "The Language of Blood" and "Fugitive Visions," and coeditor of the anthology "Outsiders Within: Writing on Transracial Adoption." She is studying for a master's degree in public policy at Seoul National University and is president of TRACK (Truth and Reconciliation for the Adoption Community of Korea).

Hey, kids in foster care. You might be wondering why Americans are raising a stink about Russia banning adoptions while you are still waiting for a family. You might feel like no one wants you.

And why wouldn't you feel that way?

There are 58,000 of you living in institutions, 104,236 eligible for adoption and 400,540 in foster care. But I can recommend some ways to make yourself as precious and loveable as one of those Russian orphans. Take some tips from an international adoptee! Here's how:

1. Be young. You have no value if you are older than 5. I know — you're 12. But maybe people won't notice if you act young. They'll think you're big for your age. If you expect to be adopted as a preteen, forget it. At that point, all you are is a looming college tuition bill.

2. Be white. That's what the Russians had going for them. But if you can't do that, you can at least not ask to be adopted into a family that speaks Spanish or Laotian or whatever it is you used to speak at home. Language classes are once a week, and culture camp is once a year. Don't confuse tourism with real life. Got it?

3. Be alone. Nobody wants a band of kids that is already a family unit. They are trying to integrate you into them, not be integrated into you. So why are you telling people you have not just one — but two or three siblings? Say goodbye to them and send the youngest ones off to fend for themselves. They probably won't even remember you later. Maybe you can find them in adulthood through Facebook if you're sentimental.

4. Be an orphan. Do you really expect to be adopted you if want to maintain ties with your birth family? People fear your mother showing up at their front door. That is why they like to adopt kids from as far away as possible! "I am a poor orphan. I am a poor orphan." That is your new mantra, and do stop talking about your mother. Not only should you obliterate your memory, but you should also ask your social worker to burn any records that suggest you may have difficulty making adults feel loved and needed in exchange for a home.

Adoption is not about what you want. It's about what adopters want. Get it straight, kids!

comments

Tammy's Story

2013-02-10T22:59:20Z

Posted by: 7rin

From TakenUK
Tammy tells her shocking story to the conference of professionals in London
30th October 2006:-

"In the best interest of the child" that's what the professional's state, but even the professionals and the family courts can be wrong as they were in my case.

Let me explain about my birth family, and myself. I am a young adopted adult; I was taken from my mum nearly 17 years ago on a false allegation, I was seven months old and sitting in my bouncing chair, my mum had gone into the kitchen to make me a night feed. I was happily playing with an activity toy, which I dropped on the floor; I leant forward to reach the toy but the chair followed me arid tipped forward falling on top of me. I sustained a bruise on my cheek. And that's where my life was changed forever.

( Read more... )

comments

The Good, the Bad, and the downright VILE!

2013-02-09T19:29:05Z

Posted by: 7rin

Links to threads that have exploded, and which demonstrate aptly the attitudes displayed towards adoption and adoptees.

The Skeptical Mother's Page posted a picture of a very young bmom with her newborn baby daughter, just before she hands her over to the adopters.

comments

When Children Become Commodities: Fees at Private Adoption Services

2013-02-09T13:22:56Z

Posted by: 7rin

From UNC School of Law
8 June 2010

When Children Become Commodities: Fees at Private Adoption Services Often Based on Race of the Adopted Child

Fees paid by prospective adoptive parents for private adoptions are poorly regulated and, in some cases, are based explicitly on the race of the child, says UNC clinical assistant professor of law Barbara Fedders. Her findings are published in a forthcoming article titled "Race and Market Values in Domestic Infant Adoption" to be published in the North Carolina Law Review, volume 88.

Fedders recently completed a survey of private domestic adoption agencies to better understand factors affecting adoption costs. About 20 percent of the agencies Fedders studied openly advertised race-based pricing, but she says that some adoption professionals believe that as many as half of all private agencies engage in the practice.

"There are a significant number of private agencies that facilitate adoption that charge different fees based on the race of children being adopted," she says.

( Read more... )

comments

Justice for Grayson

2013-02-04T20:16:22Z

Posted by: 7rin

The main page is @ https://www.facebook.com/JusticeForGrayson

The note I'm sharing with you is @ https://www.facebook.com/notes/justice-for-grayson/rachels-statement-to-sheriffs-dept-for-kidnapping-report/127354994081660

Rachel's statement to Sheriff's Dept for kidnapping report
by Justice for Grayson on Tuesday, October 23, 2012 at 5:02am

I would like to make a Missing Children’s Report and report a kidnapping.

July 30, 2012
Before noon – I contacted adoption agency for information only by email. I was weighing out all of my options and had not decided on anything. Agency owner emailed me back and asked for my phone number and she called me after 5 minutes of me providing her my number. Agency owner asked me to meet with her. She brought Agency employee with her and did not tell me Agency employee would be coming too. I met with them the same day about 40 minutes after the phone call. Their office is 40 minutes from my house. They came to my house to pick me up and took me to McDonalds to talk. Mostly Agency owner spoke and asked what information I wanted, what I wanted, what I was looking for, they asked me about my doctor, they said they had a really good one, they said that the doctor I had didn’t sound that great, they could get me in that week to meet with one of their doctors, then they asked me if I wanted to do that, then they gave me some information, it was a booklet or something which I threw out that same week because I had decided at that time that I didn’t want my baby adopted.

( Read more... )

Why I didn’t call the police:
I was under the influence of drugs.
I trusted Agency owner was telling me the truth.
I was exhausted, and after standing in the parking lot for 2 hours just couldn’t take any more.
I didn't know my rights, and agency owner was VERY convincing.

comments

This Emotional Life - How do you feel about adoption?

2013-02-03T03:30:43Z

Posted by: 7rin

I'm gonna try to tidy this up to make it more readable, but I suspect if the thread continues, it's gonna wind up being dumped in comments too because I'm gonna run outta character spaces.

How do you feel about adoption?

Jennifer Randazzo Good.

Gloria Orange-Barnett The gift of a safe and loving home to a child in need is truly a gift to oneself.

Lynn Early Brown It is truly a blessing...I was adopted as an infant and my husband and I have adopted both our children thru foster-to-adopt! It is amazing and a gift from God!

Liz Larson-Shidler The best alternative.

Linda Wallin Thrilled! My son comes home from India today with his new son!

Angela Jensen Dunigan We are in the process of my husband adopting my daughter, which will legalize what has already existed for the past nearly 6 years - their father-daughter relationship. I love that she will now have our name too. She's 13 and I can think of no more critical an age for her to have this security of a loving, legal father. I also have loved ones with children whom they adopted at birth. I'm a fan of adoption.

( ...and then the adoptees start answering )

comments

The Adopted Child: Family Life With Double Parenthood By Christa Hoffman-Riem

2013-01-30T03:47:18Z

Posted by: 7rin

I've only seen what's in the Google Books preview, but I know from that I'd like to read the rest, as the authors appear to know wtf they're looking at.

comments

Photo of Utah woman searching for birth parents goes viral

2013-01-30T02:15:03Z

Posted by: 7rin

The comments section on KSL.com article after this picture...

...demonstrate clearly the forces of socialisation that work against the adoptee for the entirety of the adoptee's life. This is what we grow up hearing. Even if it's not in the immediate family, the wider world tells us this, and it's not something you can shield us from because it's endemic in English speaking society[1].

Yet people still fail to see how this impacts our perspectives of ourselves as adoptees. Why?
Genealogy is a massive industry, so why wouldn't adoptees want to know who and where they come from?

This is why we shouldn't be losing contact totally in the first place.

People shouldn't NEED to be putting begging pictures up on Fakeblag because they've run out of other options. This information should never be lost to us in the first place.

Even if it's not safe for them to know who and where we are while we're children, as adults that information should be available to us so that WE can decide what we want to do with OUR lives.

Not knowing who you're from is a complete mind-fuck.

[1] I don't know enough about all other societies to be able to say, but I'm sure it's a topic transracialeyes is likely to have information on).

comments