[personal profile] 7rin
Me 08 September 2009 at 01:19
I would like to be able to talk to you...

Mom 08 September 2009 at 10:45
I'd like to talk to you but how do you know me? What would you like to talk about? What is your birthdate, where were you born, what are your parents names?

Mom 08 September 2009 at 11:38
Please don't be offended by my asking questions but if you are who I'm hoping you are, I'll love to be able to talk and maybe meet up

Me 08 September 2009 at 15:06
I'd like to be able to talk to you because I think you may be able to help me fill in some of the missing blanks in my life.

I was born {date} in {place}, but I don't know what time I was born at as I don't know anyone who was there at the time. My parents, {their names}, lived in {village name} on the day they had me.

I'm not offended in the slightest - and even if we turn out not to be who we think we may be, asking and answering questions is essential to us finding this out.

My middle names used to be {mid-name#1 mid-name#2}, but my parents dropped these names when they had me to save us all having to spend so much time in the form filling that Life(tm) throws at us. :)

Mom 08 September 2009 at 17:26
I still have a few questions. I know who you are but who do you think I am, how did you find me? At the mo I am happy but scared stiff. Will be online about 10pm. have accepted you as a friend

Me 08 September 2009 at 18:16
Thank you for the friending.

Well if my resources are correct, then you're my mom. While my resources are relatively reliable, I do accept their fallibility, and so was pretty much hoping you'd say something along the lines of knowing who I am, as I think it pretty much confirms my hunch. Not only that, but your picture was the first picture I'd ever seen in my life of someone who looks like me - well, other than my Daughter's picture anyway.

I won't be online again now until I get back in at about 11pm. If that's too late for you then we can always talk another day. Heck, even PMs like this are more than we've had in a long time, and I suspect we're both going to have some weird emotions and feelings to deal with, so I can't see that taking it slow'll hurt. Not that I'm sure I'll manage to not jump in with both feet (at least in the immediate future) if you do confirm that you're my mom.

Either way, thank you for replying (and yes, I waffle - sorry :)).

Mom 08 September 2009 at 20:06
Yes, I am your mom!!!

...

http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum/index.php?topic=22832.msg225493#msg225493
[personal profile] 7rin
Good morning/evening/afternoon/whatever, and welcome to my very own attempt at creating an adoption related spouting off place type blog.

I have, after careful consideration of all the pros and cons, opted to utilise my already created 7rin-on-adoption community account for this because it means I'm not creating yet another somewhere new that I'm gonna not use again within a few weeks; it's somewhere I know damn well I get control over my content on; and it's somewhere that's already relatively easy for me to update to (crappy college net nanny prog's aside) 'cause my pootah's already set up for posting here.

So, what's it all about?

Well, I was born in 1972, and when I was 7mths old, my mom palmed me off onto some friend's friend's sister's neighbours, and my adoption order is dated for a year and a month after my birth. As a result of this, I have experienced massive psychological trauma, and now - six months after reunion (which almost completely broke me) - I've decided that I absolutely DO *NEED* to start getting some of this down somewhere, 'cause otherwise, I'm just gonna stay stuck where I am.

Where I am currently is not a pretty place. Since reuniting with my bfamily, I have emotionally regressed all the way back to being that abandoned baby all over again, and I'm struggling to do anything more than remember I've got $task to do (not that I do recall all $tasks), and travelling from A to B (even if A is only the sofa, and B is only the kettle).
[personal profile] 7rin
Timeline went something like:
12th August 2009: Found 'em on FB
18th August 2009: Added mat.bsis on FB
19th August 2009: Dummy acc. PMed bmom
8th September 2009: FB conflab with bmom
9th September 2009: bmom turns up on doorstep
11th September 2009: Have met mat.bsis & meet mat.bbro
15th September 2009: Turned up on bdad's doorstep
6th October 2009: Have met Dad proper (why no date!!!)
13th October 2009: 'Session' with mat.bsis, mat.bbro & mat.bcuz
6th November 2009: bdad told pat.bbro about me

Was scheduled to meet bmom in a pub on 11th (was once been my local, but is closer to where she lives), along with mat.bbro and bmom's hubby, and a long-standing friend of mine who's also 'local' to the pub. What actually happened was that she 'phoned me from her mobile on 9th saying she was about to drive past anyway (legitimately) and so could she call in and meet 'cause she couldn't wait until the Friday. I said yeah 'cause tbh, waiting was killing me, and so she turned up on the drive in the car with a mate. I was a bit miffed that I couldn't tell which one she was gonna be until they got up the drive and she introduced herself - of course, once I had time to take everyone in, it was blatantly obvious which one my mom was, but at the door I had no clue. They came in, we drank cups of tea and coffee, and smoked fags, and talked about everything and nothing.

It was mind blowing.

Meeting dad was weirder, at least on initial viewing anyway. Mom had given me what she thought was his entry in the 'phone directory, on the day that the new 'phone directory for the area came out, and his number wasn't in it! I panicked. What if it *was* him, and he'd moved away? It was five minutes away, and so I *had to* go around to the address and find out if he was still there or not (if it was him at all). I took a deep breath and knocked the door.

It wouldn't've mattered if he denied all knowledge of me or not. I was stood looking in my physical mirror. Where I look (sound, laugh, sneeze, cough, strop, etc.) like my mom, I'm shaped like my dad. I'd never understood my body before because I didn't recognise it. I drove away from that first (very very short) meeting with my dad entirely validated in my own existence. I all of a sudden knew exactly where I'd come from.

Met mat.bbro in the pub on the day set up to meet mom, and mat.bsis at her flat. Haven't yet met pat.bbro but am deeply looking forward to it. And grumpy cow as she may be, I actually would like to meet my pat.bsis, despite her not wanting to have anything to do with me because she's in a snit with our dad.

Try not to go in with ANY preconceptions, because you have absolutely no idea what you'll find. All sides of my families have screw ups, but then I don't know a family that doesn't. The only difference is in the extremes, as far as I can see.
[personal profile] 7rin
Since the following, quoted, content has already done the rounds on Y! Answers, and so is never going to be deemed 'private' again, I see no reason not to post it in here too.

The content itself consists of the story of my adoption, and a couple of questions based upon my recent experiences and discoveries.

Read more... )

To date, I am not much further along in figuring out my thoughts, but I am a little, thanks to the wise words of some good friends.

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