[personal profile] 7rin
My own lovingly designed t.shirts for adoptees with style, and available at the Post-Adoption Charity CafePress store. :)

The first image I created was the lovely nRFU that points out we're not Rainbow Farting Unicorns...

Adopted NOT = Rainbow Farting Unicorn

...which was created after yet another day of bouncing my head off a brick wall trying to educate people as to the HORRORS of adoption - even in a "good" or "successful" adoption (however you want to define those terms :p).

There's only, currently, two images available (not least because I am so inartistic that I have trouble drawing stick peeps!) in the Post Adoption Charity store, the second of which shares with the world the absolute TRUTH about why adoption hurts so damn much. To the point that I think if we could shift paradigms and remove the expectation of gratitude - there'd be a lot less screwed up adoptees. Thus, the t.shirt I spend the vast amount of my waking time wearing is the Adoption Loss quote...


"Adoption Loss is the only trauma in the world where the victims are expected by the whole of society to be grateful"
- The Reverend Keith C. Griffith, MBE

Feel free to purchase, and any money made on the store is staying there until I can get the head space to get Post-Adoption Charity (completely and utterly still in its infancy) up and running properly.

See also: http://www.cafepress.com/7rindom :}
[personal profile] 7rin
Adoption Issues From a Strengths Perspective
By Deborah H. Siegel, PhD, LICSW, DCSW, ACSW
Social Work Today - July/August 2008 Issue - Vol. 8 No. 4 P. 34

Birth parents, adoptive parents, and adoptees face predictable crises given the life-changing nature of this event. Idealized or deficit approaches don't work, but a strengths perspective does.

Sam is a bright, energetic, enthusiastic 12-year-old boy. His mom and dad, Mary and Mack, love him dearly and are earnest, skilled parents who conscientiously create a nurturing home. Sam thrives; he has a best friend next door, gets Bs in school, attends weekly religious school and prayer services, walks his dog every day after school, and enjoys riding his bike and playing his electric guitar. He and his parents often go on hikes, attend sporting events, and take day trips as a family or with friends. It appears that Sam is doing well because he is adopted.

This description accurately summarizes Sam's life, and so does this: Sam was born with cocaine, marijuana, and alcohol in his tiny body. Sam's birth father, incarcerated shortly after Sam was conceived, has never seen him. The state child welfare agency removed Sam from his mother's custody shortly after birth, and in the first two years of life, Sam lived in four different foster homes before he was legally freed for adoption. Sam's behavior is often impulsive, hyperactive, and inattentive. His classmates tend to steer clear of him because he bumps into them, grabs their things, or blurts out rude comments (e.g., "You're stupid!"). Homework is a daily struggle, as Sam finds it hard to sit still and stay on task. He often forgets, loses, or partially completes his assignments. Lately, his behavior at home has been especially irritable; when his parents prompt him to do a task he doesn't like, he yells, "You're not the boss of me!" and stomps away. He's spending more time alone in his room. It appears that Sam is struggling because he is adopted.

Read more... )

- Deborah H. Siegel, PhD, LICSW, DCSW, ACSW, is a professor in the School of Social Work at Rhode Island College, a clinician specializing in adoption issues, an adoption researcher, and an adoptive parent.

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