[personal profile] 7rin
I am hiding the entire article behind this cut tag because it is THAT repulsive )

I have actually made a comment on the article, though I sincerely doubt that it will make it past moderation. This is the comment I left:

What an utterly SICKENING article.

Adoptees have every right to get to know THEIR OWN families, and to read an adopter dismissing OUR OWN families in such horrible ways is horrific!

We are also not ‘gifts’, but actual real people. You actually are heartless as you entirely negate the problem ADOPTEES suffer with from being adopted by describing us as that.

As an adoptee, I find this article vile and repulsive, and am thoroughly gladdened that my own adopters were nowhere near as callous and clueless as you’re making yourself sound!
[personal profile] 7rin
Links to threads that have exploded, and which demonstrate aptly the attitudes displayed towards adoption and adoptees.

The Skeptical Mother's Page posted a picture of a very young bmom with her newborn baby daughter, just before she hands her over to the adopters.
[personal profile] 7rin
The main page is @ https://www.facebook.com/JusticeForGrayson

The note I'm sharing with you is @ https://www.facebook.com/notes/justice-for-grayson/rachels-statement-to-sheriffs-dept-for-kidnapping-report/127354994081660

Rachel's statement to Sheriff's Dept for kidnapping report
by Justice for Grayson on Tuesday, October 23, 2012 at 5:02am

I would like to make a Missing Children’s Report and report a kidnapping.

July 30, 2012
Before noon – I contacted adoption agency for information only by email. I was weighing out all of my options and had not decided on anything. Agency owner emailed me back and asked for my phone number and she called me after 5 minutes of me providing her my number. Agency owner asked me to meet with her. She brought Agency employee with her and did not tell me Agency employee would be coming too. I met with them the same day about 40 minutes after the phone call. Their office is 40 minutes from my house. They came to my house to pick me up and took me to McDonalds to talk. Mostly Agency owner spoke and asked what information I wanted, what I wanted, what I was looking for, they asked me about my doctor, they said they had a really good one, they said that the doctor I had didn’t sound that great, they could get me in that week to meet with one of their doctors, then they asked me if I wanted to do that, then they gave me some information, it was a booklet or something which I threw out that same week because I had decided at that time that I didn’t want my baby adopted.

Read more... )

Why I didn’t call the police:
I was under the influence of drugs.
I trusted Agency owner was telling me the truth.
I was exhausted, and after standing in the parking lot for 2 hours just couldn’t take any more.
I didn't know my rights, and agency owner was VERY convincing.
[personal profile] 7rin
(All bolding = my emphasis; all italics = my comment)

From: http://detroit.cbslocal.com/2012/09/13/parents-to-sue-mich-dhs-for-adoption-fraud/
September 13, 2012 6:39 AM

DETROIT (WWJ) - Some Michigan parents are planning to file a federal lawsuit in Detroit Thursday, claiming that the state and adoption agency officials withheld crucial details about the physical and mental disabilities in the children they adopted.

WWJ Legal Analyst and Talkradio 1270 morning show host Charlie Langton said the parents claim their civil rights have been violated.

“There’s a claim that the civil rights of the parents are being trampled upon by the state because of the state’s failure to disclose information. Who is in the best position to gather information about a child when the child is put up for adoption? It is the state. And if the state is not taking on the responsibility of gathering that information and disclosing that information, that becomes a civil rights violation, that’s a federal issue,” said Langton.

Lansing-area attorneys David and Stephen Kallman told the Detroit Free Press officials from the Department of Human Services and adoption agencies routinely withheld medical records and information about financial subsidies for special-needs children, misled prospective adoptive parents about their rights and stonewalled their attempts to seek assistance.

At the time of adoption, they were presented to parents as healthy babies. But in reality, the lawsuit claims many of the children had significant mental and physical health issues after being born to mothers who were addicted to drugs and alcohol — something the parents claim they were never informed of. Other children were handicapped or had diseases – something the parents claim the state also failed to mention.

Some parents claim their adopted children, most of whom were removed from homes of their biological parent or parents by court order, tortured pets, attacked family members and set fires.

The lawsuit also claims that several light-skinned ethnic minority children were “passed” as Caucasian for the sole purpose of depriving them [is that "them" the kids or their buyers?] of federal and state assistance to which they were entitled.

“It would be in the best interest of everybody if the state would disclose whatever information the state knew about these children before they adopted. I mean, disclosure is the name of the game in so many things. We have disclosure laws when you buy a car or a house, so why shouldn’t we have disclosure laws when you adopt a child,” said Langton. [Absolutely, which is why ALL records should be OPEN to ALL adoptees!]

If disclosure laws were in place, Langton said he thinks the number of adoptions would actually increase.

You have to know what you’re buying, what you’re getting. I don’t want to make it on so impersonal terms here, but we’re talking about the life of a child, that if the parents are doing something good for the children, they should know what they’re getting so they can plan ahead accordingly… I think the state has a duty to go out there and investigate the background of this particular child and the family as well. It would help not only people in Michigan, but across the whole country,” said Langton.

Families included in the lawsuit are seeking as much as $13 million.
[personal profile] 7rin
UPDATED: 11:30, 5 November 2011

You could say I’ve lived a lie all my life.

One in which my wife and the Prime Minister are complicit. They call me Michael and apologise for my appalling manners by explaining I’m a dour Aberdonian.

They excuse my waist-busting appetite, saying my father was a fish merchant and that’s why I’m a gannet.

The deception doesn’t stop with them. Michael is the name on my passport, bank card and driving licence.

But if I’m honest, it is an assumed identity. I was not born Michael, but Graeme.

I call Aberdeen my home, but that’s not where I’m from. And the man who brought me up was, indeed, in the fish trade, but he’s not the man who fathered me. I have no idea who that is.

I was born to a single mother in an Edinburgh hospital ward in 1967 and then taken into care. After four months, I was adopted by a child- less couple, into whose home I arrived just before Christmas.

Read more... )
[personal profile] 7rin
The following is going to be a catalogue of shit said to - or about - adoptees in public(ish - relatively) places. Feel free to use in evidence. :}

Headline: Kate's adoptive family scrimped to give her idyllic childhood... yet she was still desperate to find the parents who gave her up - no matter who it hurt
  • Kate Hilpern discovered she was adopted aged five
  • At 18 she tracked down her birth family - but found her mother had died at 19, two years after giving Kate up for adoption
  • Mother-of-two says being cut off from birth family had damaging effects on her identity and self-esteem
  • Kate now campaigns for adoptive children to retain contact with biological family
By Kate Hilpern
PUBLISHED: 23:48, 15 May 2012 | UPDATED: 11:57, 16 May 2012

Read more... )

And now for those oh-so wonderful and supportive comments...

First, a charming snippet from Whenever Wherever, Somewhere in the Lone Star, 16/5/2012 21:39
this yearning for some stranger who gave you up because of a biological link is a slap in the face ... I have a few friends who are asian who do not share these issues. None of them have tried to find the biological parent. If I adopt, it will be an asian child. Can't be bothered with the rest of this nonsense. Call it silly or whatever, but either you are my child and I your mum, or not. I am not going to love and sacrifice for over 18 years for some child to come inform me as an adult that they want a relationship with the biological stranger parent.
This made me scratch my head... resident, somewhere in America, 16/5/2012 20:41
Further, you rarely find what you'll think you'll find. My sister in law found her "birth family" and they were a mess. I was not happy.
I'm left scratching my head at this one because the author doesn't tell us how the person whose life it actually involves felt about it - only that they, the poster was aggrieved by it.

Tiffany, USA, 16/5/2012 18:13 shares with us exactly who adoptees should call 'real' family (for the record, all of my families're 'real' - if they weren't, I wouldn't exist because my a'rents didn't give birth to me):
Why on earth would someone want to raise a child as their own, make the sacrifices good parents make and give their whole heart to a child who will someday bring an egg and sperm donor back into the picture, and for what reason?? My heart goes out to this woman's REAL parents, and shame on her for not having the sense to call them.that first.
Matilda, London, 16/5/2012 16:46 makes one of my favourite comments of all, proving the the blank slate theory
" The idea that you can uproot a baby from its birth family, place it with adoptive parents and give it a new identity with no ill-effects is ludicrous." ....................... I disagree with this statement. You can if the baby isn't too old and you never tell the child that it was adopted.
Dinah, Bath, 16/5/2012 16:21 shares the long-standing, old favourite:
I feel very saddened for anon, worcestershire, 16/5/2012 15:35 who feels that their a'rents happiness comes before their own, since no child should be responsible for their parents' happiness, and no child should owe ANY of their parents for doing their job as parents...
What a selfish girl to think of herself and what she wanted, I am adopted from about the same age and would never have wanted to upset my Mother and Father with such an action,they and they only deserved to organise and be at my wedding,they put so much into raising me and giving me a great upbringing,they were always there for me and never let me down their whole lives.I owe them everything.
Finally ('cause contrary to popular belief, I do have a life afk :p), Twinkle, Twinkle, 16/5/2012 15:34 reminds adoptees of their place - y'know, second best, abandoned, 'n' unwanted...
Red arrow me all you like on this but I am entitled to my opionion. I would not adopt a child if the rules changes allowing them access to their biological Mother. NO WAY. Why would a couple or single person who cant have a child provide all the love and care to be made to feel second best and a carer so to speak because the child had been given up for adoption. ADOPTION - Given away - no matter what the reasons or how you wrap it up.
[personal profile] 7rin
Get your bargain basement baby from Ever-Lasting Adoptions...

In recognition of November as National Adoption Month and in an effort to help all of our prospective adoptive parents in these difficult economic times of today, we have made the decision to lower our fees for the BI-RACIAL THROUGH CAUCASIAN program to $5000 total and the FULL AFRICAN AMERICAN PROGRAM TO $3000.
[personal profile] 7rin
Adoption aids barren wives
@ The Sun-Herald (Sydney, NSW:1953-1954)

FACT'S New York News Bureau

More than half of supposedly sterile couples can be successfully treated without surgery, Mount Sinai Hospital, New York, reports.

A common cause of sterility is blocking of the wife's Fallopian tubes, preventing a union of the male and female reproductive cells.

Treatments using carbon dioxide gas frequently open these sensitive passages and makes conception possible, the hospital says.

Dr. I. C. Rubin, who perfected the technique, described it to the International College of Surgeons and reported a large percentage of success.

The American Society for the Prevention of Sterility advises examination for both wife and husband.

It is popularly believed that in most cases the wife is unable to bear children.

But a study of nearly 900 sterility cases disclosed that the impaired fertility of the husband was to blame.

Male sterility may require surgical treatment but fertility may be restored by reduction of nervous tensions, proper diet and adequate rest.

The same treatment aids barren women affected by emotional stress, overwork and vitamin deficiencies.

An effective psychological treatment, used in the past by family doctors, is being widely adopted.

Often a barren couple consulting their physician in a small town would be advised to adopt a baby-to fill the void.

The adopted infant, coddled and pressed to the foster parent's breast, often produced physiological changes in the body of the woman, resulting in natural conception.

Today, when diagnosis fails to disclose the cause of deficiency in a childless couple, therapists advise: "Adopt a child and see what happens."
[personal profile] 7rin
A letter of recommendation for adoption:
Best Answer - Chosen by Voters @ http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20101116132918AAdtKRv

Here is a sample letter:

I have been asked by my very good friends to recommend them for adoption, so obviously I am already biased :)

I know nothing about adoption, but I think that my very good friends would be very good at adoption. They are very good at everything else they do from climbing Mt Everest (only last year) to working with the crud-infected youth from our neighborhood (for a few days before they just got righteously disgusted!). They also throw really great parties and like to kick it in the ‘hood. They know all the in-vogue terms for pot, grass, weed, spliff, etc. (I’ve learned so much from these very learned people – they should be held up as icons of … you know, people). In any case they will be very hip when they’re adoptling reaches the teen years – AND the kid will have responsible parents to party with! Like O.M.G.!!! How cool is that????

I really hope they don’t want to use me as a babysitter all of the time, but you know I guess spending time with someone else’s kid is par for the course in adoption, so maybe I’ll try to humor them. (Whatever!)

But, yeah, you should really consider x and y as a great adoptive couple because, like they really think they know what they want, and like, yeah, it would be cool to have a baby that’s like a blank slate that you can kind of make into anyone you want them to be. Neat, huh?
[personal profile] 7rin
This is a ghastly "Letter FROM a birthmother" to her newborn son found on an agency site:
My Dearest Matthew,

I have a strong belief that we get to choose our family before we are born. That we live with God before we become a flesh and blood person and He offers us a number of people to be our families on earth. As a result of this belief, I wrote you a short story.


Once a small angel waited by the pool of life. Eager to jump in, he started to put his big toe into the warm comforting water.

"Matthew," God called, "Before you can be born, you must choose the family with which you will reside. Come… choose your new home from the Great Tree."

The Great Tree loomed above Matthew. Its beautiful golden branches made his step falter with awe. Angels flittered everywhere, hovering like hummingbirds under the wide canopy; they gently plucked the brown leaves.

Kneeling so that he could speak into Matthew's ear, God whispered, "One of those branches holds your family. All you need to do is choose the family you want. Touch a branch and it will show you all the joys and trials that you will have in that life." With that, God lifted the boy up to the tree and asked, "Which leaves would you like to look at first?"

Many hours later and after looking at many families, Matthew did not see any that he liked and so he asked God, "May we look at the very tippy top?"

Heavenly Father smiled a warm and comforting smile. "Those are the adopting families" He thought. He did not say a word but simply moved to the highest and most center part of the tree.

Matthew looked and looked, but he still didn't find any families that he was happy with. He was just about to give up when he saw one of the leaves sparkle. He reached out and touched the branch, and he knew that was his home. Excited, he turned his little head to God and exclaimed, "This is it! This is my family! They are the ones I want to be with! They are waiting for me!"

The Lord looked at the branch and smiled. It had two large leaves and one small one. "That is a very special family my son. You will not be able to go to them the traditional way." Upon seeing the crushed look on Matthews face, God continued, "You get to choose another mother, she will be your birth mother and she will be guided to your parents and you will end up in their arms as you have chosen to be."

After another long while, Matthew found someone, he believed, would be a great birthmother. Beaming he touched another branch and said, "This one! She will love me and she will want me to be happy with my family, I choose her." Again God smiled.

Thank you for choosing me. Much love always and forever ~

Your Birthmother,

Call me a cynic if you like, but I concur with those who've suggested it's nothing more than a plant by some advertising executive for an adoption agency. I sincerely hope so anyway.
[personal profile] 7rin
The following articles explain in detail the cost of adoption:

Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy's The National Council for Adoption: Mothers, Money, Marketing, and Madness parts one, two and three.

This article highlights many price lists: http://adoptioncritic.com/2011/08/18/babies-for-sale/

This thread is a list of adoptees discussing how much each of them cost: http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum/index.php?topic=26741.0

Sunny asking "So if adoption 'fees' are legit, why the difference in cost for a bi-racial vs. black baby?" over @ http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20101121204457AAqYFbm


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