[personal profile] 7rin
Originally found @ The Not-so-daily Herald, which has since been deleted, so re-snagged from Pearl Jam Community.

Adoption or Parenting Not Always the Best Choice

Despite the claims of protesters, adoption or parenting may not be the best choice. There’s recent evidence that refutes the protesters’ claims to “Wait another six months and you’ll grow to love the child” or “Give your baby up for adoption. You don’t have to kill it.” In an excerpt from Kornfield and Geller, the authors write the following:

Kost, Landry, and Darroch (1998) found many negative consequences for mothers and children of carrying such a pregnancy to term, including late presentation for prenatal care, a decrease in health promotion behaviors during pregnancy, continued alcohol and nicotine use during pregnancy, premature delivery, low-birth-weight infants, infants that are small for gestational age, inconsistent or no presentation for well- baby care, and a lack of breastfeeding. An unwanted pregnancy increases the likelihood that the infant’s health will be compromised (odds ratio, 1.3; Kost et al., 1998) and it also shows poor outcomes for maternal fetal bonding should the birth mother keep and raise the child (Barber, Axinn, & Thornton, 1999). These authors also point out that poor mother–child relationships are not specific to the unwanted child; all of the children in the family suffer when the mother has given birth to a child as a result of an unwanted pregnancy. Many mothers with unwanted pregnancies deliver low or very low birth weight infants (Kost et al., 1998), which has been associated with higher levels of maternal psychological distress including depression, anxiety, and obsessive compulsive behaviors (Singer et al., 1999).

Read more... )



Sara Levine Kornfield, MS*, and Pamela A. Geller, PhD

Drexel University, Department of Psychology, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Received 4 August 2009; revised 5 December 2009; accepted 10 December 2009

Elsevier Publications
[personal profile] 7rin


Also DO NOT contact anyone on here who's saying "mail mail me, I'll snatch your baby away from you"

Adoption or Parenting Not Always the Best Choice
@ http://thenotsodailyherald.wordpress.com/2010/07/27/adoption-or-parenting-not-always-the-best-option/

Abortion is a simple medical procedure which ends a pregnancy
@ http://www.positive.org/JustSayYes/abortion.html


It is entirely possible to have an abortion and not feel guilt because you knew it was the right thing to do: http://www.imnotsorry.net/


Abortion: There is a Consensus: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsSQiazUvgo

Things I Wish I Knew When I Was Considering Adoption
@ http://www.exiledmothers.com/ adoption_facts/wish.html (close gap in URL)

What you should KNOW if you're considering adoption for your baby
@ http://www.cubirthparents.org/edd/index.php?id=1

Considering adoption? Don't feel you have any other options?
@ http://www.keepyourbaby.com/

Myths told the unmarried mother
@ http://gift-not-choice.tripod.com/myths-about-asfa.html

Adoption Truth
@ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOZGwqHVnKs

Unplanned Pregnancy without Crisis
@ http://www.motherhelp.info/index.htm

Open adoption is almost never legally enforceable, and many parents have lost access to their children due to broken "open" adoption promises.
@ http://www.mercianeclectics.dsl.pipex.com/adoption/OpenAdoptionWall.htm
@ http://www.bringperihome.com/
@ http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100709095305AAjeM4z
@ http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100830162150AAi478W

Quotes taken from Nancy Verrier's book, Coming Home to Self
@ www.nancyverrier.com/self_book.php

For the adoptee every day is a challenge of trying to figure out how to be, although he probably doesn't understand the difficulty this presents for him. It has been true his whole life and, therefore, feels normal. However, it takes a great deal of energy and concentration. And it never feels quite right. He never quite fits. Therefore he feels as if /he/ is never quite right.
(pg 50)

Abandonment and neglect are reported to be the two most devastating experiences that children endure - even more devastating then sexual or physical abuse. That's why some neglected children do naughty things to get attention. Even though the attention is hurtful - being yelled at, hit, or otherwise harmed - it is better than neglect. /Anything/ is better than abandonment. Abandonment is a child's greatest fear. For adoptees, it is also reality, embedded in their implicit and unintegrated memory.
(pg 102)

It is sometimes difficult to spot grief in children. After all, it isn't as if the child sits in a puddle of tears his entire childhood. As one adoptee said, "Of course I played, laughed, sang. Do people think that if you're not sitting in a corner with your head on your knees, you are not sad? I had happy times, but the sadness was always there, even when I was having fun."
(pg 117)

_____Links supporting families to stay together_____

Single Mom @ http://www.singlemom.com/
Mentor Moms/MOPS/Teen MOPS (support!) @ http://www.mops.org/
Angel Food (food assistance) @ http://www.angelfoodministries.com/
Feeding America (food assistance) @ http://www.feedingamerica.org/
Co-Abode (housing assistance) @ http://www.coabode.com/
Safe Families (for emergency/crisis care) @ http://www.safe-families.org/
Teens @ http://www.teenbreaks.com/pregnancy/pregnancyhome.cfm
Adoption Crossroads® and Adoption Healing @ http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org
Adopted Child Syndrome @ http://www.amfor.net/acs
Origins-USA @ http://www.origins-usa.org
United Family Services @ http://www.unitedfamilyservices.org/
Family Assistance Foundation @ http://www.familyassistancefoundation.com/
Safelink Wireless @ http://www.safelinkwireless.com/

Finally, I suggest you take notice of the fact that adoption does NOT "save" kids:

Nor that APs will necessarily care for you like they pretend:
@ http://adoptiveparentsspeak.wordpress.com/
@ http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100106130510AA4Ekce

Good luck!


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