Parents with learning difficulties
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7rin_on_adoptionPosted on Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 03:54 pm by Aura:
I would like to bring to people’s awareness regarding the many parents who are being labelled ‘unfit to parent’ by social services, just because they have a learning difficulty. There’s no help what’s-so-ever for parents out there with learning difficulties, too many are frightened to ask for help lest they get the same treatment as I’ve received in my story below. People with learning problems are treated a lot more harsher, then someone who hasn’t got learning difficulties. I will be attending the conference ran by Change in London on January 11th, and hope to start a group up called ‘Parenting without Prejudice’ which will help these people to get the help they so deserve. Disabled people and people with learning difficulties have a right to be parents, and shouldn’t live in fear of their children being taken away never to be seen again; except in memory.
I’m the mother of a 11mth old boy who had severe eczema; I also have a learning difficulty which is boarder-line, and curvature of the spine (Scoliosis) which is progressive.
My son had to go into hospital because he was loosing weight, which was quite worrying for me. They found out in tests that he was allergic to cow’s milk and had to go onto Soya, I had been breastfeeding for six months and had mentioned about goat’s milk to my health visitor, but she had refused and put him on 'SMA Gold' which has traces of cows milk in.. Then social services came into hospital and said that we were to be separated after leaving hospital, and I had to get a solicitor. I was very upset and knew nothing about solicitors’ courts or anything about the legal system, why should I? I had a very abrupt social worker who came into hospital, with a Nazi attitude telling me what I could and couldn’t do with my son. Who do you think I was going to listen to? Someone who’s only interested in another case, or someone who in a position to save lives?
My son was due a feed and I didn’t know how to make it up then, I pulled the cord to call a nurse. The social worker got impatient and went off to the kitchen, and put her nail varnished hands into my steraliser, to get my bottle out. I had to dispose of the whole lot and clean it out, some of her nail varnish came off as well and was floating around my bottles, and I don’t think my nurse was very happy!
My solicitor found us a foster carer’s place to take us on after we left hospital which was miles away from my parents, until a place could be found at a mother and baby unit. I had to keep going to court and a care order was made. I didn’t understand what I did wrong, it was very confusing.
I had to undergo an IQ test where I had to answer such questions like what was the speed of light. I also had to match up coloured blocks from a book. My IQ was low anyway, because I was under a lot of stress.
I was sent to a mother and baby unit after two weeks which was right across the country, I was the only one there with a learning disability. I didn’t know anyone and the staff were quite harsh, it was like being in an open prison in my eyes. I wasn’t allowed out for more than an hour with my son and everything I did was written up in a report for the staff to see. My reports were never any good, full of complaints and criticisms. I had to see a councillor who wrote everything down word for word everything I said for the staff to read, which supposed to be in confidence (fat chance of that!).
I was supposed to be there for six month’s; the assessment broke down after six weeks because they said I was too slow. They took my son away without warning to a foster carer’s near where I lived, while I had to make my own way back home. I love my son very much, I see him for any hour at children’s resource centre through supervised contact. He’s already forgotten who I am.
I just wanted to bring to attention to what is happening to a lot of parents in my situation. I didn’t do anything wrong, my only crime was to have a learning difficulty. I will never see my darling boy again, and I will never ever forget him.
I would like to bring to people’s awareness regarding the many parents who are being labelled ‘unfit to parent’ by social services, just because they have a learning difficulty. There’s no help what’s-so-ever for parents out there with learning difficulties, too many are frightened to ask for help lest they get the same treatment as I’ve received in my story below. People with learning problems are treated a lot more harsher, then someone who hasn’t got learning difficulties. I will be attending the conference ran by Change in London on January 11th, and hope to start a group up called ‘Parenting without Prejudice’ which will help these people to get the help they so deserve. Disabled people and people with learning difficulties have a right to be parents, and shouldn’t live in fear of their children being taken away never to be seen again; except in memory.
I’m the mother of a 11mth old boy who had severe eczema; I also have a learning difficulty which is boarder-line, and curvature of the spine (Scoliosis) which is progressive.
My son had to go into hospital because he was loosing weight, which was quite worrying for me. They found out in tests that he was allergic to cow’s milk and had to go onto Soya, I had been breastfeeding for six months and had mentioned about goat’s milk to my health visitor, but she had refused and put him on 'SMA Gold' which has traces of cows milk in.. Then social services came into hospital and said that we were to be separated after leaving hospital, and I had to get a solicitor. I was very upset and knew nothing about solicitors’ courts or anything about the legal system, why should I? I had a very abrupt social worker who came into hospital, with a Nazi attitude telling me what I could and couldn’t do with my son. Who do you think I was going to listen to? Someone who’s only interested in another case, or someone who in a position to save lives?
My son was due a feed and I didn’t know how to make it up then, I pulled the cord to call a nurse. The social worker got impatient and went off to the kitchen, and put her nail varnished hands into my steraliser, to get my bottle out. I had to dispose of the whole lot and clean it out, some of her nail varnish came off as well and was floating around my bottles, and I don’t think my nurse was very happy!
My solicitor found us a foster carer’s place to take us on after we left hospital which was miles away from my parents, until a place could be found at a mother and baby unit. I had to keep going to court and a care order was made. I didn’t understand what I did wrong, it was very confusing.
I had to undergo an IQ test where I had to answer such questions like what was the speed of light. I also had to match up coloured blocks from a book. My IQ was low anyway, because I was under a lot of stress.
I was sent to a mother and baby unit after two weeks which was right across the country, I was the only one there with a learning disability. I didn’t know anyone and the staff were quite harsh, it was like being in an open prison in my eyes. I wasn’t allowed out for more than an hour with my son and everything I did was written up in a report for the staff to see. My reports were never any good, full of complaints and criticisms. I had to see a councillor who wrote everything down word for word everything I said for the staff to read, which supposed to be in confidence (fat chance of that!).
I was supposed to be there for six month’s; the assessment broke down after six weeks because they said I was too slow. They took my son away without warning to a foster carer’s near where I lived, while I had to make my own way back home. I love my son very much, I see him for any hour at children’s resource centre through supervised contact. He’s already forgotten who I am.
I just wanted to bring to attention to what is happening to a lot of parents in my situation. I didn’t do anything wrong, my only crime was to have a learning difficulty. I will never see my darling boy again, and I will never ever forget him.